Post-Adoption Update

Until I find more words to explain where we are on our post-adoption journey, I'm stealing/sharing the words from fellow adoptive families. This excerpt is from my friend, Lauren's, blog. It echos the dull ache in the back of my heart when I think of our kids' whole stories. While Judah and Addise will never "remember" what happened to them before they became Diaz's, in the words of adoption and attachment expert, Karyn Purvis, "Every kid has cognitive recall of their history." Consider that as you read Lauren's blog post:

"...and i especially hate thinking about my toddler-aged child (though i have never seen his/her face or heard his/her story) sitting in an orphanage quietly mourning the mother he/she has lost and wondering if there will ever be another mother to hold him/her again. i think that he/she must be old enough to remember what his/her mother's face looked like, how her hands felt, how her voice sounded, how she smelled...and also old enough to remember how suddenly she was gone...when all the sights, sounds, and smells just disappeared.

"but, in adoption, there is hope for redemption.

"tonight, i claim for my children and all those who need families words of scripture, promises from God...he sets the lonely in families...he defends the cause of the fatherless... he is close to the brokenhearted...he knows our sitting down and rising up...he never leaves us or forsakes us.

"i will not leave you as orphans, i am coming to you. -- john 14:18
"in him the orphan finds mercy. -- hosea 14:3"

"This is Unnatural!"

When we signed up to adopt to kids back in July 2009 we knew it would be hard. Most every parent we've talked to since then has knowingly chuckled, sighed, or pitied us when we told them we were adopting 2 little ones at the same time. We're grateful for those informed parent responses because never once did we think this was going to be simple. They were right!

On maybe our second or third day parenting Judah and Addise, Brian was about to claw his eyes out with some reason Judah was bugging him. Totally unedited he announced, "This is unnatural! Normal parents do not get a toddler and infant at the same time." I think we laughed. Maybe we cried. But he's right - this is an unnatural thing that just happened to our quiet, clean, predictable Diaz casa.

I've thought a lot about Brian's honest declaration over the past couple weeks. A lot about our lives these past few years has been unnatural. Infertility is unnatural. Children without parents is not natural. Paying exorbitant amounts of money to have a family is unnatural. Leaving your children halfway across the world for 2 months so more paperwork can be completed - UNNATURAL. Black children belonging to a white momma and brown daddy is unnatural.

There's not much that's natural about what's happened in our family.

It's at this point my theology bursts forth: Jesus adopting sinful children into his forever family is not natural. I wonder if the most unnatural phrase is Scripture is this: the Word became flesh. It was not natural for an all-powerful, holy God chose to enter the world as an orphan [Remember: Joseph essentially adopted Jesus as his son] in order to usher in redemption.

"So the Word became human and made his home among us.
He was full of unfailing love and faithfulness."
John 1:14

I've read John 1 countless times, but Brian's comment has drawn me to this passage again with fresh eyes. It is unnatural that the God who created the Universe made his home in a town where people wondered if anything good can come from there [John 1:46]. It was unnatural for God to come down to us. Wasn't there another way?

Nearly 3 weeks into parenting and a lot is feeling unnatural, but I find myself in good company and grateful for another way to identify with my God who took on flesh to show me his unfailing love and faithfulness.

12 Days of Christmas :: A Decade

Day 7 :: I am grateful for my man.

Ten years ago today, Brian proposed to me. We were 21 years old and madly in love. We started as high school friends, turned into sweethearts, and became best friends. Never would have we imagined that 10 years later we would've seen and done and become all that we have over the past decade. Ten years later, I am even more in love with my husband. He is the best man I've ever known and gently pushes me to become more of who I truly am. He is so many things I am not [or at least less of!], and he fascinates me still.

Today, I'm grateful that we are taking on new roles this year: mother and father. I love seeing Brian as a daddy. Who knows what this next decade will hold?