Everyday Miracles

It's easy when you're a mom of 2 toddlers to get lost in the monotony of the ordinary and routine - wake up before you want to get out of bed, change diapers, make breakfast, gulp down coffee as fast as possible so you don't have to microwave it again, hope the kids play so you can clean up the kitchen or check email or make a phone call, put Baby #2 down for a nap, guiltily put on Yo Gabba Gabba so you can get more work done, get Baby #2 up from nap, make lunch...

Serving 2 little ones in the small things has been one of the best things for my soul and one of the most difficult things I have ever done. I've joked that I would crave a complex leadership problem, strategic planning issue, or relational issue to solve OVER changing yet another poopie diaper.

It's been remarkably easy for me to become Judah and Addise's mom. Maybe too easy. It's easy to forget about the 3.5 years that we YEARNED for them. It's easy to forget the number of tears that were poured out as we pleaded for God to work miracles in 2 governments, provide finances, and transform our lives to bring our family together. It's easy to forget about the number of transitions, amount of loss and change our kids have gone through in their short lives. It's easy to forget that we are still learning how to be a family and we're still getting to know each other.

There have been moments in the monotony of the ordinary that I've received glimpses of the miracle that are Judah Abebayehu and Addise Aster Tarike Diaz. In those moments, I've had to choke back tears as I've wiped a butt, massaged shampoo into their scalp, or scooped another bite of applesauce into their mount. Those are the moment when I remember the miracle that is my everyday. The miracle that is my son and daughter.

Here are some snapshots [mainly off my iPhone] of the past several weeks. BTW: it's hard to get 2 toddlers to be still long enough to get a crisp shot. I hope you can see a wee bit into their personalities. They are beautifully and wonderfully made...

Playing on a car at Disney in Toon Town.

Addise's first time on "It's a Small World" at Disney.
She doesn't seem too impressed.

Judah's cashed out after a fun first day at Disney!

There are really no words to adequately communicate how funny this picture is to me.
Brian found our daughter sleeping like this one morning.
I'd like to point out that Addise has ALL those stuffed animals in her crib because she likes to shove her limbs into the crib slats. She's that kind of girl.

Playing with Momma's hand. She laughs and giggles and talks ALL day.
She brings enormous joy to our lives!

We went to the high school retreat for an afternoon and somehow returned with these sunglasses. He LOVES them.

On Addise's first birthday.
My maiden name is "Getz" and I wore this very shirt when I was Addise's age.
Funny thing is, she totally has "Getz" qualities: boisterous, fun, social, and strong willed.

She's totally a goof!

Judah's going "poopie" once or twice a day. MIRACLE indeed.
This picture was on the same day as his 2nd round of immunizations.

Lastly, a quick video of Judah's first time using a spoon. After being home for 2 months, it's enthralling to see their progress. Enjoy!

Sleep, Tantrums, Communication, and Our New Normal

We've had Judah and Addise for 7 weeks as of today. Hard to imagine what life was like without them. They are unmistakeably Diaz's. We are unmistakeably a family [however when we are in public I sometimes think that other people think I'm their nanny].

The past 7 weeks have been filled with one transition and adjustment after another. We're starting to find our new normal - after the first few weeks of straight up survival mode and travel recovery followed by 2+ weeks with family's helping hands. Now we are exploring what "normal" life looks like for our family of four, especially including going back to work. Each week that goes by we see progress in our kiddos and that's exceptionally encouraging, but it's still really hard and we have to discipline ourselves not to wistfully dream about when things will get easier.

The two things that have been most difficult have been sleep and communication. Brian puts Addise to sleep for every nap and bedtime. It takes him 20-30 minutes to feed her bottle and rock her to sleep before laying her into her crib. So, he's spending 60-90 minutes every day rocking our baby girl. Yes, he loves it, but we're beginning to get tired and long for those minutes to be used for things like work.

Judah's been difficult with sleep ever since we've been home. Scratch that - he's great going to sleep for his afternoon nap, but bedtime is brutal for all of us. He has progressed from thrashing and screaming to simply taking FOREVER to fall asleep. He doesn't cry when we're rocking him or even when he's laying in his pack 'n play at the foot of our bed, but he whimpers and cries if we stop touching his back or try to leave the room. Last night it took us nearly 2 hours to get him to sleep. It's crazy hard. All Brian and I long for at the end of the day is a few hours alone together. Then, in the middle of the night, both kids are still fairly regularly waking up. Sometimes it's only for 5-10 minutes, other nights it's for closer to an hour. We feel like zombies on those nights and morning comes too soon. Judah's internal body clock wakes him up at 5:59am almost every morning. It's bizarre and maddening. He typically hangs in bed with us until 7:30am, but that time is usually filled with babbling, rolling around, and occasional kicking. Our son is a morning person and his parents are not. Conflict of interests.

Judah's also dealing with [or we are dealing with] tantrums several times a day. Most of the time the tantrums come when he doesn't get his way, needs a little love, needs some protein...or for no apparent reason. His tantrums aren't long or wailing, but they are repetitive and whiny enough to wear us out over time. I also think that his tantrums are directly linked to how well he's sleeping.

The biggest thing that we know will change things is communication. It's easy to temporarily forget that we speak 2 different languages. Literally. Our social worker said that it will take Judah up to 4-6 months to get caught up on language [loosing his Amharic, understanding English, and speaking at as he should for his age]. This is really the most frustrating thing for all of us! Judah whines and points to things sometimes and we just can't figure out what he's trying to say or ask for. We constantly feel like we're parenting: banana or orange? up? go outside? that's mommy's. come here, Judah. gentle buddy. It's like we're in language class with a 2 year old every day who's experiencing loss and transition on top of being a terrible 2.

No wonder we're tired.

Really though, at the end of the day [like right now as I sit in our kitchen and Brian's attempting to put Judah to sleep after 47 minutes of persistence] we adore our Judah and Addise. I don't even need to say that! They make us laugh all day. They are great eaters. They love each other as evidenced by near french kissing every day. They dance and giggle and learn new words every day. Addise is bravely attempting walking. We are in love. But there are at least two sides to every story and we are adjusting to our new normal.

Catching Up

Does anyone still read my dormant blog!?!? If so, thanks for your patience since Addise's first birthday post. I'm still committed to posting some pictures, but for some reason I'm having some iPhoto issues [definitely user error of some sort] and my days have just been full.

For the past 2 1/2 weeks my wonderful family has been in town showering us with kisses, cooking, grocery trips, spring cleaning, and lots of attention on our little ones. Last night and today I said "goodbye" to them: my mom through tears last night, and my dad, baby brother, and granny after Thai lunch today. They have been remarkably helpful and kind. Their motto has been "whatever you want and is best for the kids". We've seen them display that in enormously selfless and sacrificial ways!!! Our family of 4 got hit with a violent head cold around the day my mom flew into town and at least one of us was sick the ENTIRE time she was here. Most of her trip 2 or 3 of us were sick. I took a 2 hour nap one day on the couch while my mom chased 2 active toddlers around our condo while making dinner. And she did it all with joy. My pantry, freezer, and fridge has NEVER been so full. Brian gasped one night when he opened the freezer and literally faced frozen wall of chicken. Granny and Mom cleaned blinds and ceiling fans and did countless loads of laundry. Cool Uncle Drew instantly had Judah's heart in a way only a 19 year old uncle could. My dad [a self-acclaimed "non-baby guy"] was wonderful with both kids and they adored his boisterous personality. For my whole family, their true joy was sitting on the carpet playing blocks, reading books, pushing Judah in the laundry basket, walking laps around the kitchen with Addise hanging on their fingers. It was a bit divine timing with getting so sick and I was a proud momma watching those who were responsible for my birth see me be a mom. Today's a sad day as I say "goodbye" to my sweet family, and Brian and I continue this journey among our family of faith but without our bio families nearby.

Brian started back at work a couple weeks ago after a generous 3 week paternity leave. I went back to work very part-time last Sunday. Every day is a juggling act: who gets up first? changes the first diapers? makes breakfast? gets to work first? gets to veg on the couch for a few minutes? Gratefully, I married the man of the century who's in this 100% with me and is fully co-parenting our offspring. He changes the same amount of diapers, does the dishes, vacuums the carpet, picks up food off the floor, dresses babies after bath, puts them to sleep...I married a rock star.

We are beginning to think about life just with us when we both have to work like normal and courageously parent Judah and Addise. We're not sure how it's all going to work out yet, but we are continually getting to know J&A - what they like to eat, how they play, how they are growing, their changing needs, and of course their bonding and attachment progress. We trust after I go back to work full time [1 more month], that God will provide the resources and discernment on how we are the primary caretakers of our kids but also remain faithful to our vocational callings.

I promise to post more pictures of our beauties and stories of their progress. Every week we see notable progress, and I'm kicking myself that it's not documented here [or anywhere!]. Parenting "kids from hard places" is hugely challenging but we love Judah and Addise deeply and believe in adoption more than ever. Can't wait to share more about our "2 steps forward, 1 1/2 steps back"...as we affectionately call our days together.

Thanks for still reading. The best is yet to come...