Validation

Last Sunday we had our Student Ministries staff celebration. We have an amazing team of volunteers who serve in a variety of creative, inspirational, and courageous ways to our 12-18 year olds at Newsong. I adore watching them "love in action" and minister to our students and their families. One of the night's surprises was an 18-minute video that one of our high school girls who's also a small group leader in our middle school ministry made. Christie was actually one of girls in my first leadership group when she was in 7th-8th grade. Now, she skillfully shepherds a group of 8th grade girls with integrity [Psalm 78:72]. It's such a satisfying and rewarding picture of what 2 Timothy 2:2 envisions for us. The video Christie prepared was of countless students who were saying "thank you" to their leaders in ways that only 12-18 year olds can: Beautiful. Raw. Meaningful. Unedited. Unfiltered. Authentic.

When Mychel was saying "thank you" to me, something hit me in a new way: one of the gifts of infertility is that it's validated my ministry and personal relationship with God. Mychel was saying that she loves me because she's seen me go through really hard stuff in life and still love God. So that's validated the advice and counsel I've given to her over the years. My pain has produced validation to my words.

If I had a fairy-tale-only life, I'm not sure that my experience with Jesus would carry the same weight to the people I serve as they do now. The rubber of my faith has hit the road. The proverbial crap has hit the fan in my life, and I still believe Jesus is the best and truest thing going on. The God of Scripture has become more real in the pages of my life. For that, I am grateful for infertility.

Friends for the Journey

There have been innumerable gifts along this journey called infertility and adoption. But one of the greatest gifts has been the friends from across the country, whom I've never met, that share some aspect of our story. There have been more tears as I've read different blogs and emails, and crazy head-bobbing as I know their journey (similar to how God knows mine). And it's been healing for me to recount my story, offer encouragement and prayers, and just affirm "I know".

The most recent example is this POST from my friend, Andrea.

BTW: I'm also grateful because this week we hit 7 months on the wait list. I'm grateful because we are 7 months closer to our kiddos being home than we were 7 months ago. Any day...

God Found Us You

Last week has come and gone, and a referral wasn't a part of last week. Yet it is well in our soul. We believe in ever-deepening ways that God's in control of our adoption. It sounds silly to say because it's so obvious, but it resonates more and more within us...actually mainly me. Brian has an uncanny ability to trust God more with this than I do, believing in God's perfect timing. It's annoying to this wife of little faith, but comforting to that my man has that posture.

Last week, one of my dearest friends gave us this book, God Found Us You. She wanted to give it to me for Mother's Day, but she couldn't wait. Erin gets our process in ways that we so desperately need. It was a gift last week because we know that God's in process of "finding" our babies.

Thank you for your prayers and fasting last week! We have to believe that while nothing happened last week in terms of our referral, God's doing something to connect our 2 children to us. Last week we were bombarded with emails, conversations, and confirmations that God's not only growing our hearts for our kids, but he's growing our communities hearts for our kids. When that day comes, our babies will be bombarded with kisses and love. For that - and so much else - we are grateful.

Also, tomorrow marks 6 months that we've been on the wait list. Who knew it would take this long? But grace has sustained us this far, and will sustain us today.