12 Days of Christmas :: Rest

DAY 10 :: I am grateful for rest.

No news for our Embassy date today. We are waiting. Waiting for his word of hope. If we don't find out by 8am PST Thursday morning we have to cancel our airline tickets and reservations in Ethiopia. If we still can travel for the 28th Embassy date, we will find out first thing tomorrow or Thursday morning. I can't fully wrap my heart around not being on a plane Friday morning. I think I'll go into a depression...

Yet one thing I've come entirely aware of throughout this journey is that God does not sleep. He does not slumber. He is always working in our behalf. Thus, I can rest as he is active. Never before has this become so apparent as in our adoption.

Ethiopia is 11 hours ahead of our time. So when I lay my head down every night, our kids are awake in the next morning. As I fall asleep tonight, the U.S. Embassy is going about their business for the day, perhaps attending to our case. A case that means little to them and the world to us. It's not a "case". It's Judah and Addise Diaz, who need to be home with their parents. I can sleep soundly tonight because even as I renew my energy, God is working on the other side of the globe through officials and flawed processes and mistakes. And he can move mountains.

So, tonight I rest knowing that I am out of control. Utterly. Completely. Uncomfortably out of control to bring Judah and Addise home. But as I rest I trust that the God of the Universe is in control.

Here are a couple more pictures we got today. A visual reminder of why we LONG to bring them home...

12 Days of Christmas :: Hope

DAY 9 :: I am grateful for HOPE.

I've been crying a lot today in light of our news today about potentially not being able to travel in 4 days. I can't imagine not being on a plane in 4 days, holding our babies in a week. I can't imagine...

As Brian and I prayed together today and he held me as I cried - multiple times - we were reminded of our hope in God, not an Embassy date. As dear friends prayed for us tonight, God tenderly reminded me that we hope in a God who is never late. When I got home, Brian pointed us back toward Lamentations 3:19-30 [The Message]. I love the author's emotional authenticity and staunch dependence on God despite the circumstances. I want to be this kind of woman. We want to be this kind of couple...

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Brian got another tattoo last week, and this one is most personal to us, to our story.
Isaiah 40 has been a critical passage throughout our infertility and adoption journeys. We held on to the truth that when we wait on God that he'll give us new strength and we'll soar on wings like eagles. Brian's fresh tattoo is a permanent, visual reminder of the hope we've found in God [you can see the "h" from his "hope" tattoo, too].

If you are in need of hope tonight or are finding yourself waiting, do yourself a favor and download Vicki Yohe's song "In the Waiting". My friend Neah plopped earphones on my head tonight and rubbed my back as I SOBBED through the song. It'll pull you toward a God who works all things together for good.

Tonight, I'm grateful for Hope that does not disappoint. Not my will, but yours be done...

12 Days of Christmas :: Emmanuel

DAY 8 :: I am grateful that God is WITH us.

Today is the Sunday before Christmas. I hosted our services today and am once again reminded how much I love God's people. I love the local church and all Jesus imagined it could be. I get to experience God WITH us through this local community - and by nature of our church, a global Body - on a regular basis. Our community embodies the truth that because of Christmas God has come near. He is with us. He went to the fullest length to bring us back to him. So, today, I'm grateful that we love, serve, and follow a God who isn't distant or impersonal. He is here.

May this song lift you toward the One who loves us so much that he did not leave us orphans. He came to adopt us into his forever family. That is a Christmas worth celebrating...