Hair on Fire to Be Still

Since we got back from Ethiopia 3 weeks ago, I feel like we've been running around with our hair on fire! It's been nearly non-stop since we landed at LAX and began final preparations for becoming parents and taking time off from work. Our days and nights have been filled with work, constant errands to Target and Babies R Us, late night email checks, meeting up with friends, long small group dinners, last minute dates with my babies' daddy, kids' room makeover, maternity leave arrangements, turkey day celebration, Christmas decorating and shopping, and 2 baby showers. You have noticed, I've done very little blogging. Now maybe you know why! :)

And even in the midst of all this, I am so energized. All this frantic activity is for our kids, preparing them to come home to be with us forever. I am filled with delight, joy, gratitude, and bursting with hope these days. Very few things discourage me, get me annoyed, or truly aggravate me. It is well with my soul.

Last week, I was able to slow down for a day of solitude at my favorite place to be silent and be with God, The Montage. For the past 5+ years, I've walked to this place almost every month to see this waiting for me....gorgeous, I know!

For the past 3+ years I've processed and grieved so very much the death of a dream [pregnancy], longing [to have a family], and waded through waiting [through our infertility and adoption]. Seeing the ocean when I've walked up to these stairs has been my refuge and now is my Ebenezer.

Walking down these stairs toward the beach every month, I often walked in on the verge of tears and sadness. But I also walked in expectant to see, hear, touch, and experience God in a new way.

Isaiah 40 became a battle cry for my soul. The end of the chapter summarized my prayer:

"But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
They will walk and not faint."

Walking up these stairs at the end of my days, I sensed God's closeness and presence in ways I know I would not have had I not taken the time to STOP and BE WITH him. I walked away hopeful, renewed, and connected to Jesus.

It really was from this bench, with this view that the most amount of soul renovation took place. I read. I wept. I sat. I slept. I listened. I journalled. I talked with my spiritual director. I questioned. I waited.

Also, nearly EVERY time that I sat on this bench I saw dolphins swimming by - jumping, playing, making cute dolphin noises. After a few consecutive months, I started sensing that those dolphins symbolized God's great love for me and his desire for me to swim in his grace. I cried every time I saw them.

Last week, when I sat on this bench again I saw something different. I'm not entirely sure what I saw, but for about 20 minutes I saw at least a couple hundred seals swimming about 100 yards off the coast. A multitude of seals! For 20 minutes! I'm not a prophet, but I sensed in my spirit the Spirit saying something new...

Isaiah 43:18-19 has been a repetitive passage for me over the years:

"But forget all that—
it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
For I am about to do something new.
See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

I don't know when I'll be able to go to The Montage again. I'm guessing it'll be a little while. But on this silence and solitude day, there was space to reflect on all God's done and a deep sense of one chapter closing and another beginning. I didn't see a dozen dolphins on that day, like I have for years. I saw hundreds of what appeared to be seals. Something new...

Orphan Sunday - a celebration and only the beginning

You have to see what our church, Newsong did on Orphan Sunday. At the end of the service, you’ll also see a 1-minute video from Brian and I at LAX. We are so privileged to share our journey with our entire church community! We were in Ethiopia, so we missed it. But I was reminded a million times, we were doing Orphan Sunday. AH! It was a day Newsong will remember for a long time. Amazing things were done in the service. Our kids at Newsong from 2 year olds through high school learned about God's heart for orphans and actually did a care project for local kids in foster care. Seeds were planted in our next generation that will last a lifetime! Who knows what God will harvest from those seeds?!?! All day throughout Newsong's hallways stories were told from those doing orphan care. Pictures were posted all over Newsong of those doing orphan care; each picture included the phrase "We are the Village..."

Then, 1 week later Newsong hosted an information meeting for all those who wanted to take a next step toward orphan care. People came who were interested in everything - foster care, domestic adoption, international adoption, supporting those in adoptions, mentoring kids in the system, foster care. It was amazing to see our foyer filled with people who are seriously responding to God's call to care for orphans. It was only the beginning. The best is yet to come...

A Dream :: "Orphan" Becomes Personal

This is a message I got from one of my oldest friends, Laura. We have been friends since 8th grade. Although we've only lived in the same city for 1 year, God's knit our hearts together and bound us together for over half our lives. We were bridesmaids in each other's weddings. She sent me this dream God gave her a couple weeks ago about her 2 daughters. I absolutely LOVE how God personalizes the plight of orphans and vulnerable children for his people...

Kate and Ella were on some adventure which involved catching large sea slugs [don't think that even exists] and all sorts of other mayhem, but Ella was being sneaky and brought one of the sea creatures into the large room that she and Kate were sleeping in. In that room were a bunch of bunk beds lined up. They had nothing in their possession, Kate only had some silly bands on her arm. A woman entered the room where they were sleeping and saw that Ella had disobeyed a rule by bringing in the sea creature [ok strange I know], upon seeing this she kicked Ella and Kate out. At that moment I realized they were orphans...I weep as I write this. I saw the sweet amazing eyes of my Kate and the tender gentle spirit of her big sis, and there they were- all alone in the world. And I woke up.

It was 4:30 this morning and all I could do was run into their room and lay my hands on my 2 oldest girls. In that moment, the plight of orphans went from my head, past my heart, directly into my GUT! I literally felt sick. I realized that in a different place in the world or a different set of circumstances, that could by the life my daughters faced. The image of my sweet little 2yr old, w/ her big brown eyes, all alone in the world, was more than I could handle. And I pray that if they were in that circumstance, someone would scoop them up and love them, someone would choose them, someone would spend whatever money, sacrifice whatever it took, travel any distance to rescue my little loves.

I wonder how God's made adoption personal to you. I LOVE the private conversations I've had with so many readers about how God's expanded your heart toward adoption. Please share. It's so encouraging to hear and see how God's mobilizing his people toward orphan care!