A Lament for Women in Leadership

A while back I was asked to contribute a piece, a lament, on the struggle for women in leadership. I was asked to write my own psalm, a reflection on Psalm 40, which speaks to an ache in David's heart. As I wrote this lament, the words flew off my fingers as I asked God - once again - HOW LONG we would sing this song of injustice, sexism, oppression, and inequality? A few tears even fell for myself, for my daughter, and for all the women in leadership I know who have to fight for their place at the leadership table.

These were the words I wrote. You won't believe what happened after I submitted this lament...

Waiting. No one likes waiting. Maybe least of all me. I’ve waited for my entire life to see your Church reflect your heart to see men and women lead your people. Equally. With skillful hands and integrity of heart [Psalm 78:72].  I’ve waited for your Church to wake up and get it that we have as much to contribute to the Kingdom as men do! I wish your Word was painfully clear about our contribution equality!

Too many times I’ve seen women in the pit of despair because they have not been allowed to use their voice, their gifts, their experiences, their very calling to build the Kingdom. You have not stopped them from leading and teaching, Lord; your people have.

My sisters and I have cried when we’ve been told “no”, “be quiet”, “this is not your place”. We need your rescue, God. We desperately need you to bring good news in places where we are pushed down, snuffed out, and negotiated around. Your Kingdom suffers when we are relegated to roles and ministries and places where we are not gifted or passionate. How long?

Our circumstances may not change, our culture may never fully reflect your heart for your Church, but you never change. You are solid and steady and trustworthy. When your Church may fail me, I can still be amazed by who you are. I will find my hope in who you are, not in an outcome – a promotion or a platform or power. I will receive a new song that you give me and sing to the rooftops of who you are and what you’ve done.  I will serve you fully and contribute my best to your Kingdom, even in the midst of broken systems and unjust theology. Give me the courage I need to be faithful today.

How long will we sing this song? When I grieve for what your Church is not yet, I must remember that you are a God of justice and have called ordinary people like me to bring justice on earth as it is in heaven [Matthew 5:10]. Help me not be afraid to speak out and speak for those who do not have a voice.

You have written your calling upon my heart and I will not forsake you. I will take joy in following you no matter what anyone else says.  Help me listen to you more and more and follow you obediently. Thank you for my calling, even if it’s not honored among others.

The author who asked for my contribution with this specific piece was thrilled with what I wrote. The publisher was too. The distributor, Lifeway Christian Bookstores, was not.

In fact, Lifeway refused to carry the product with my piece included. REFUSED! My piece was a very small part of the overall project, but they were adamant my piece had to be REMOVED from the project or they wouldn't carry the product.

So it was removed. The author was very upset, but it wasn't his decision. The publisher caved because they couldn't afford Lifeway NOT to carry it. In the end, my piece was axed from the larger project because of money and Lifeway's power.

Even more, this piece rings true in my spirit... HOW LONG will we have to sing this song of injustice, sexism, oppression, and inequality?

The Power of a Cohort

I've been in vocational, local church ministry for over 15 years (basically since I was 8 years old...wink wink). I have a bachelor's degree from a private, liberal arts university. I've been to more conferences than should be legal. I know a lot of stuff and have read an excessive amount of books. I've listened to a bazillion messages and talks. Hands down, the most formative gatherings or collectives that I've been a part of over the years are cohorts. For about 5 years I participated in a junior high pastor's gathering with a group of national caliber leaders from Youth Specialties. My local church was a part of the inaugural Sticky Faith Cohort through Fuller Youth Institute for a year. And these experiences have been the most important learning venues for my leadership development.

Why?

1. Small > Big. They've been invitation only group where quality has been more important than quantity or size. It's easy to hide in crowds. The big gatherings feed my adrenaline addiction. Getting lost in the sea of people doesn't require any effort. Being silent while an "expert" speaks is simple to do. The small pushes against all those and demands participation, exposure, and connection.
2. Gather, Scatter, Repeat. For the couple cohorts I've been a part of, we've consistently gathered together for a shared experienced, scattered to work out our learning, then repeated that cycle. The "repeat" has been key for true change taking place in my life and context.
3. Longevity of Relationships. Because of the "repeat" factor, some of my closest friends and leadership companions are from these cohorts and are spread out all over the world. The historical nature of our relationship built through a shared experience has allowed me to push through hurdles, grow through challenges, and have consistently spoken truth into my identity and perspective into my circumstances.
4. Like Me but Different. I'm a big believer that dissonance creates a catalyst for growth, yet safety cultivates the ground for its possibility. When others are "like me", it creates safety and opens me up for new ideas and change. Yet it's when others are not like me, when discomfort and pain are visceral, that instigates growth. The cohorts I've been blessed to engage in have been a divine mix of both those factors. Naturally, we lean toward comfort and the path of least resistance , so we have to make intentional choices to create disequilibrium in our souls. Becoming the fullest version of ourselves demands it!

It's for those handful of reasons that I'm launching a "women in youth ministry" cohort in January and another one for "women in leadership" (general) later in 2014. I've always desired for there to be safe yet dangerous places for women to gather to be encouraged, challenged, inspired, and educated toward their best leadership contribution. The women that are coming to the table are bright, passionate, diverse, unique, gifted, and lovely. I know this will be a life-changing experience for them, not primarily because of my contribution to the collective but because the power of a cohort.

Interested? Let's talk.

Why I'm Launching a Women in Youth Ministry Cohort

In January 2014 I'm launching a cohort for women in youth ministry. And I cannot wait. I've lead similar groups of women in the past. I called it Eden because I wanted to re-orient ourselves around what was intended in the Garden. We were meant to live in full freedom, equality, and partnership from which God created us. The church is far from what she needs to be to bless women with leadership gifting. Literally, every woman I know with a gift of leadership that's served in the church has experienced some measure of: oppression, pain, minimization, sexism, and even illegal activity. Some have experienced harassment. Others alienation because of their gender. We must be better than this. The world needs our gifts fully expressed, not subjugated to "the fall's" curse.

Last month The Youth Cartel announced the launch of my cohort HERE, and since then there's been such encouraging interest and enthusiasm about this group coming together. I literally needed to create an excel spreadsheet to keep track of responses!! Clearly, there's a need for women to come together for training, support, and connection.

This 10-month whole-life coaching program is all about developing and empowering you as a woman in leadership. Being a woman in youth ministry is different. It demands unique skills and awareness as we approach the challenges and opportunities due to our gender. We will learn across a scope of subjects including theology, practical life realities, leading men, and issues defined by this group. This specialized cohort has 8 women in leadership, and meets twice for 2 days plus 4 times online (2-3 hours each). Each time is very intentional and structured to provide encouragement, challenge, and transformation. This cohort provides customized attention to your specific context and needs as a woman in youth ministry.

A Few Details...

• Limited to 8 women (+ April)
• From anywhere in the country
• Women do not need to be in point leadership roles or even full time, but they must be in youth ministry in some fashion
• Two 2-day, face-to-face meetings in Orange County, CA
• Four online meetings of 2-3 hours each
• 10 month schedule (group chooses exact dates based on their responses)
  • January - face-to-face
  • February - online
  • April - online
  • June - online
  • August - online
  • September - face-to-face
• Participants get four 30-minute phone calls with April Diaz during the year
• Private Facebook group for ongoing support and interaction
• Cost is $1750 (+ participant travel costs)

We'll do a fair amount of reading and cross-disciplinary learning, as well.

I've participated in similar cohorts and paid significantly more. It's worth it. It's one of the best investments, in my opinion, you can make in your leadership. It has been for me. The transformation you'll experience from the other women and myself will be beyond these bullet points!

The group is still forming, but so far 3 women have committed and 6 more are strongly considering, so I'm expecting this cohort to fill in the next month. Already, the women who've committed and are strongly considering are from all parts of the country, different denominations, different life stages, and different experiences in ministry. I'm VERY excited about our "differences" because it will make our learning that much richer and more profound!!

If you're interested in this cohort or a future one, contact me HERE. I'd love to figure this out with you.

Wanna just apply? Complete this YMCP application and contact me HERE for my email!