My Highest Dream

"Shattered dreams are never random.

They are always a piece in a larger puzzle, a chapter in a larger story.
The Holy Spirit uses the pain of shattered dreams to help us discover our desire for God, to help us begin dreaming the highest dream. They are ordained opportunities for the Spirit to awaken, then to satisfy our highest dream."
~ Larry Crabb, Shattered Dreams

²⁰ We put our hope in the Lord.
He is our help and our shield.
²¹ In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
²² Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
for our hope is in you alone.
Psalm 33:20-22, NLT

12 Days of Christmas :: Maturation

DAY 11 :: I am grateful for the gift of maturity.

Adopting Judah and Addise has changed my prayer life. And it's changed how I ask people to pray on our behalf. This morning I was reading Exodus 14 and once again God's truth intersected exactly where I needed it.

¹³ But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. ¹⁴ The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

As I read this chapter and cried, I started praying. When I was younger I would pray for things and make decisions to surrender because I thought [at least subconsciously] that if I prayed for the right things, in the right way, and gave up my will to his, then God would give me what I wanted. A+B=C, right? Nope - God cannot be manipulated like that. I've come to believe that as I pray, I am giving up my will to his and he also shapes it to conform to his will. Then, it is well with my soul. Believe me, I would swim to Ethiopia right now if I could [and I might have to with the insane amounts of rain we've had in SoCal!!!!]. But clearly what God's doing is much bigger than I know, and I've seen that clearly in retrospect in other areas of my life. Remember, he gives me what I need more than what I simply want.

EMBASSY UPDATE :: We are still waiting, but humanly speaking it doesn't look good. Essentially, the US Embassy still hasn't given us a green light to travel, and we are running out of time. We have until about 9am tomorrow morning AT THE LATEST to cancel our airline tickets. Our case managers have said that the Embassy wants for all 6 families cases to be resolved before they give any of us an Embassy date and the green light to travel. It doesn't make sense. Our case should be ready to go now. Our agency is petitioning on our behalf with the Department of State in DC. We are waiting for an update.

Please keep praying. I'm a mess, but am choosing to trust in this confusion. Your texts, messages, and prayers have carried our burden with us. Every message, question, and hug has caused me to cry, but it's needed. Thank you.

When I started this "12 Days of Christmas" series, I wasn't expecting this turn of events. It's been quite hard to write these, but it's also forced me to celebrate and be grateful when my heart is heavy and troubled.

One more pic to make you smile...what would you put as a caption to this picture?!?!

12 Days of Christmas :: Provision

Day 6 :: I am grateful that God always provides.

When we started our adoption we knew it would cost $20,000-25,000. We knew that we didn't have that money in any bank accounts. But we felt called to adopt. So we moved forward in faith. And EVERY SINGLE step along the way God has provided. Thousands of dollars. From the most unexpected places! From people we barely know. From friends who've followed our journey over thousands of miles. From family and friends who have deeply sacrificed to bring home our babies.

Then the original amount changed. We decided to adopt 2 kiddos. Thousands more dollars. Then we found out about a 2nd necessary trip. Thousands more dollars.

But with every additional cost, God opened up his pocketbooks and graciously provided the money. Almost to the dollar every single time. It's proof that God loves orphans and longs they are brought home into forever families. We were moved to tears many times as we opened envelopes and received agency financial statements. Sometimes it seemed like our bank accounts didn't humanly calculate.

Even, today I'm challenged to REMEMBER the One who provides. He's got us this far. He'll get us through the next season. God owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He cares for the flowers in the fields and sparrows in the sky. Certainly he'll care for the Diaz family and all his children.