What I Feel the Most...

I wasn't entirely expecting it, but there it is again.

For the past 23 days, I've been over-the-moon excited for Lil' A and Baby T coming into our lives. I've saved their pictures to my phone's home screens, my laptop background, printed some for our fridge and we actually framed 2 of each of them. We are fully in love! They feel like ours already, even though we are very aware that something devastating could happen and our adoption could fall through. We deeply celebrate everyday that what was lost is now found.

What I wasn't entirely expecting what how much grief I would feel for their birth mothers. Overwhelming compassion. Deep sorrow. Soulful mourning. While I have never been able to conceive a child, a woman who was had to give hers up because they wouldn't survive without it. I cannot imagine. Simply cannot imagine that grief of giving up a child you love because of poverty.
I've found myself praying frequently for their birth family. Praying for peace. Praying for healing. Praying for comfort. Praying for restoration. Praying for confirmation that her sacrifice was courageous and right. Praying the Holy Spirit - in ways only he can - will let her know that Brian and I will passionately love their child.

Tonight I was reading my blog roll and found THIS POST. I wept as I read. It's a snapshot into my heart and a prayer I have for our children to someday find some answers for their identity. The reality is that adoption is FILLED with grief and pain, but God - as only God can do - bring beauty from ashes.

Practicing Parenting...with 2 fish

In light of the impossibility of topping my last few posts introducing Baby T and Lil' A, I would like to introduce you to the 2 newest Diaz family members: Ringo [left] and Spike [right]. Ringo is the cool, calm, and collected fish. Spike is a little crazy and fiesty. I worry about his mental health.

Last week a friend at work offered to give us 2 Betta fish. After more thought than the decision warranted, we accepted. [It's like it was a big decision.] After all, they were free, low maintenance, came with free homes, and they provided us with first attempt at parenting. Actually, at first Brian suggested we flush them down the toilet and see how long they'd fight for their lives, but at last he embraced these 2 fish as pets. We spent quite a bit of time trying to name them. Among the finalists were Maximus, Eddie, Edward, Cliff, Theo, Starbuck and Apollo. A very serious endeavor.

After a few days, they've managed to cost us $8.67 on colored rocks [see above pic] and food. Brian's become quite fond of them. He's feeding them, concerned about the poop levels in their water bowls, and wondering what they are thinking about their new home. I've told him these levels of responsibility and nurturing are promising signs of fatherhood. I've NEVER been concerned about these qualities in my husband - he's kind of a rock star in these categories, but none the less, he's never had to activate these qualities in a parenting role. Until now.

Baby T and Lil' A, Ringo and Spike are waiting for you. We got these 2 crazy fish for you. You already have pets [and blankets and a few toys with little brown people and lots of books!] We love you oh-so much. We look at your faces too many times a day to count and wonder what you're doing. We pray for your caretakers and friends at the orphanage. We are praying for every aspect of the legal processes to go smoothly and without delay so we can bring you home as quickly as humanly possible. Until you get home, we'll take good care of Ringo and Spike and practice our best parenting skills on them. We love you, Baby T and Lil' A.

What's next now that we know our babies?

First off, we've been inundated and overwhelmed and obscenely blessed by the affection and affirmation we've received since Friday. There have been over 1500 hits to our blog since we posted the BIG NEWS. Wowowowowow! We are so grateful that our village is so verbal and supportive. Beyond grateful.

Brian signing the "child offered forms" on Thursday night.
His tattoo on his right arm says "redemption", which says it all.

I'm also so grateful that you have simply sat in the celebration of the moment without rushing us to share "what's next?". This is a moment worth partying and living in for a while!! But I know you're dying for the next steps and what the time line looks like. I'll do my best to explain AND share specific prayer requests.

Where are you in the process now? As of Friday, August 20th we accepted the referral for Lil' A and Baby T. We are pursuing adopting them into our forever family!

Are these really YOUR kids? Yes and No. We are pursuing adopting them, but anytime before the first court date our referral could fall through [for a variety of reasons on Ethiopia's side or ours]. Scary but reality. PRAYER REQUEST: that we would be able to adopt Lil' A and Baby T...that nothing falls through in the next few months.

What's next? An Ethiopian doctor will do a more extensive 2nd medical report on both kids. This will include blood tests, urine and stool tests, more measurements, and an general physical. Keep in mind that Ethiopia's medical care is 180th in the world, so our PRAYER REQUEST would be that these tests rule out any major medical issues. We are free to deny the referral at any point before the 1st court date if medical reports come back with issues we feel we cannot handle. This process could take up to several weeks to complete.

What happens after the 2nd medicals? FIRST COURT DATE :: After we accept the 2nd medicals, we submit for a court date in Ethiopia. Our BOLD PRAYER REQUEST would be that we could get an October 19th court date. That date would be 364 days after we got on the wait list. Our agency receives court dates for Tuesdays only. This would be when we take our first trip to Ethiopia and would be in country for 5-10 days. PRAYER REQUEST: that God would creatively supply the cost of the each trip [approximately $6000/trip or WAY less if someone offers us airline miles for one trip...the other trip has been provided for!]. If you know of someone who could bless us with these, let me know. After this court date, THEY ARE OFFICIALLY DIAZ'S!!!!!!

How long between the 1st court date and the 2nd trip? Anywhere from 4-8 weeks. This part of the process involves transferring paperwork to the US Embassy, getting their visas, and issuing their US Citizenship. This is not a court date but an Embassy date. After the Embassy date, we get to bring them home forever!!!

ULTIMATE PRAYER REQUEST:
Lil' A and Baby T will be home by the end of 2010!
This is very possible, but would require no delays, lost paperwork, medical issues, etc. Everything from this point on would have to go very smoothly.
Please pray home these little ones in 2010!!!

A painting my friend, Erin, designed a year ago for a prayer/donation shower that our small group threw for us. It's in the kids' bathroom now.

ADDITIONAL PRAYER REQUESTS:

• God would protect our babies health and hearts and prepare them in every way to come home. This period is critical for their transition.
  
• God would nurture and nourish them body, mind, and spirit, especially through their nutrition and caregivers at the orphanage.
• God would prepare Brian and me to become THEIR parents - not just parents but Lil' A and Baby T's parents. That God would supernaturally speak to us about their needs, wounds, and personalities.
• God would provide the finances for this last stretch of the adoption journey. We've seen him supernaturally provide up until this point, and believe in his provision. Our parenting expenses haven't even started [like most natural families].