A Lament

One of the deals I've made with God about my pain [like that actually works anyway!] is that I will use it for good. I will learn from it. And I will share what I'm learning with others so that it might be redeemed. The following passage from Lamentations also reminds me not to forget and where I need to place my hope...

Lamentations 3:20-26, 32-33, 40, 55- 57

²⁰ I will never forget this awful time,
as I grieve over my loss.
²¹ Yet I still dare to hope
when I remember this:

²² The faithful love of the Lord never ends!
His mercies never cease.
²³ Great is his faithfulness;
his mercies begin afresh each morning.
²⁴ I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance;
therefore, I will hope in him!”

²⁵ The Lord is good to those who depend on him,
to those who search for him.
²⁶ So it is good to wait quietly
for salvation from the Lord.
³² Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion
because of the greatness of his unfailing love.
³³ For he does not enjoy hurting people
or causing them sorrow.
⁴⁰ ... let us test and examine our ways.
Let us turn back to the Lord.
⁵⁵ ... I called on your name, Lord,
⁵⁶ You heard me when I cried, “Listen to my pleading!
Hear my cry for help!”
⁵⁷ Yes, you came when I called;
you told me, “Do not fear.”

**Thanks Kim for sharing!

Divine Appointment

This past weekend I taught at Newsong's college retreat. I shared with the women only, and then with the guys only. In the women's session I taught on Isaiah 40:18-31 and how in order to FLY to the highest heights, we must go through the painful season of waiting. I went more deeply into the part of the passage where Isaiah talks about stumbling and falling...what keeps us from FLYING?
As a portion of teaching from this text, I briefly went into my own season of stumbling and waiting through infertility and adoption. I really didn't want to share much because I was talking to a room full of unmarried, college girls. What could my story of infertility mean to them?

Later that night we had a time of prayer for healing and confession. A beautiful 20 year old woman walked toward me with tears streaming down her face. She thanked me for sharing and asked what my infertility diagnosis was. "PCOS", I told her. Immediately, her streams of tears turned into rivers. This summer, she was diagnosed with the same condition and she was confused and tired and overwhelmed and exceedingly sad. My heart broke with hers and we cried together. As she shared more with me over the next few minutes, I sensed God say, "I brought you to this retreat just for this girl. You never know when your story will meet another's story. Don't be afraid to share it." I was the only person in the room who she could relate to in this deepest place. It was a divine appointment.

In that moment with the worship team singing behind us and me holding this young woman in my arms, I was once again grateful for PCOS. I was grateful that a side comment in my message traveled into the ears of girl who's felt so alone in her pain. I was grateful that God took charge of my words and gave them to her for comfort and connection. I was grateful that my God never wastes our pain or isolates our stories. He's the God of redemption, connection, and healing. Grateful...

Purposeful Waiting - Timeline Update!

I talked with our case manager today, and she gave me an update on our waiting...it's only kinda good news so Brian and I wanted you to know so you can keep on praying!!!

BTW: Time in Ethiopia is whack!!

The News:

• Hard News: They had a RECORD amount of dossiers submitted in May & June. They are still receiving referrals for their June submissions. Hard for those families to wait!!
• Good News: They expect to give referrals for July-August dossier submissions quickly. They didn't have many of those.
  
• Kinda Good News: 5-7 more months before referral [which is 1-2 months longer]...BECAUSE they are doing some paperwork previously done AFTER the referral BEFORE the referral now.
  
• Maybe Good News: Therefore, they are projecting 3-6 months from referral until we travel to pick up the Little Ethiopian Diaz's. Previously, they projected a solid 6 months.
  

We'll see what happens but let's keep praying for an expedited referral!

Our case manager is so great. She took the opportunity on the phone today to remind us of some truth in the waiting...

• God has a purpose in our waiting [if we haven't learned this already than we have a problem]. It's not delayed waiting. He never wastes our waiting. This is NOT lost time. God's finding a way to use our waiting and/or redeem it.
  
• If we would get the referral when we want, then God wouldn't accomplish what he wants for us. That's so true even if we would've gotten pregnant when we wanted to. He's so intentional it makes me nauseous.
• He wants the best for us and the best for our child. So the waiting is about transforming us and our home to be the best scenario for us AND them.
• When we get our little ones, we won't even remember the wait. This one brings me to tears every time!
  

Brian has had a sense for a while that this waiting is important for us and we need more time before they come home. [I hate it when he's right.] So I pray that we will be diligent in our waiting and looking for ways that God is making it purposeful in our lives and the Little Diaz's.