So Far...

Our adoption agency asked if I could write our story for their blog. Of course, I said YES! The prompt was mildly overwhelming, "focus on what God has brought you through and taught you in the process". I should just point them to the previous 188 posts, but I will attempt to summarize our 3+ year journey. Here's what I submitted:

Our journey has been devastating. Our journey has been heart-wrenching. Our journey has been utterly transformational in our marriage, our finances, our mindset, our passion, our future. Our journey has been defined by waiting and loss and hope in God and disappointment and joy.

A thousand times we have said, "we would never wish this kind of pain on our worst enemy, but we'd do it all over again and we are beyond grateful." Our journey began with the dream of starting a family. It turned into the confusion of infertility and countless medical tests, procedures, and failures.

But long before we carried the title "infertility", God had also planted a dream in our heart for adoption. Throughout our infertility treatments, we knew that when we reached a certain point in our treatment, we would pursue adoption. When our last procedure failed, we immediately, whole-heartedly jumped into adopting a baby girl from Ethiopia.
We always knew Africa. We always knew a baby girl. But God shaped our dreams toward Ethiopia and for 2 little ones. Through the metaphor of a butterfly, God taught me about the transformation my soul needed from one form into another. I am a different wife than I was 3 years ago when we started trying to start a family. I'm a different pastor, friend, sister, and daughter. And I know I will be a different mother because of the challenge and transformation of this journey.

Today, we bite our fingernails (for so many reasons!) awaiting the arrival of the 2 beautiful little ones God's prepared since the beginning of time to be our children - and us their parents. In many ways the journey is only continuing, but we are different people now then we were when we began 3 years ago.

Grateful. Broken. Healed. Strong. Tender. Changed. We are...

Adoption and Galatians 5

The past 3 years of life and marriage and trying to have a family have taught me a few things. One of the [many] passages that I've studied, meditated on, leaned into has been Galatians 5.

All along this journey, I've longed for freedom. Freedom from my expectations, pain, time lines, sin, disappointments, and control issues. Galatians 5 has taught me a lot about what God's heart is for us when it comes to freedom and how we find it. In fact, I preached on this chapter at Newsong on July 4th with my friend, Frances.Galatians 5:5 identifies how we find a life of freedom:

But by faith we eagerly await through the Spirit the righteousness for which we hope.

I'm no theologian, but I've learned more about the context and meaning of this passage from a few theologians. Here are some bullet point thoughts...

• Faith + Waiting = Righteousness. Righteousness is gained through faith and waiting. I wish it was gained through comfort and instant gratification, but clearly God's ways are not my ways [for good reasons!].
• In the Greek [original language of the New Testament] the word for FAITH is "pistis". Throughout the New Testament, "pistis" is translated into 3 different words: faith, belief, or trust. Read Galatians 5 three times exchanging those words with each other. It gives it much more depth and profundity.
  
• The goal of our faith, belief, and trust is about bring alignment of my will to God's will. Do I trust him? That's where the rubber meets the road. I want to trust him more. Perhaps that's WHAT he's been desiring to do throughout these past 3 years.
  
• Waiting is God-initiated as we trust in him; he will act. Waiting is a catalyst of sorts to deepen our faith, trust, and belief in God. Of course, it can also cultivate disbelief, mistrust, and doubt, but it's through waiting that our character is revealed and developed.
• Righteousness produces hope. There is a good end to waiting! God wants to instill hope for him - not our desired outcome - into the fibers of our soul. I have found my hope transferring more and more over the past few years from a baby to knowing God, finding myself falling in love with him more and more.
  

His ways are higher than our ways. His thoughts are higher than my thoughts. Beautiful. God's so cool like that. How gracious he is to us!

This song has been a comfort and director for my waiting. Enjoy...

THE CALL!

We received THE CALL on Monday morning at 9:35am!

**NOTE: I'll be posting all weekend with details and stories.
It's impossible to share it all in 1 post!!

We are still in a bit of shock, but is simultaneously VERY real. We are beyond excited - words cannot express our joy, love, and hope!!!!!!!!! We received THE CALL 7 days after my 31st birthday. Today marks 10 months since our dossier was sent to Ethiopia. There are several other beautiful snapshots that affirm God's timing is never late and perfect. I've been weeping all week. It's been absolutely, profoundly life-changing!!!

Who are they!?!?! We have 2 beautiful and healthy little ones that we are praying will soon be Diaz's: a 6 month old baby girl and 2 year old boy. They are pure beauty and perfection! As you may know, we cannot post pictures [or email!] until we pass court in Ethiopia. It is unreal how much I already love them. In another post I'll share more about these beautiful kiddos...

We've waited to share with the world all week for a few reasons:
[I've almost exploded because of it!]

1. MONDAY MORNING: Brian was in Indiana with his family when I got the phone call. I was at home. I'll post more on how this was actually an answer to prayer and wonderful day.
2. TUESDAY MORNING: Brian flew home. We wanted to spend Tuesday letting this all sink in and celebrating together. It was the sweetest airport reunion ever!
   
3. THURSDAY: We needed to talk with an international adoption medical specialist before we accepted the referral. We just spoke with him last night. They are doing VERY well medically.
   
4. FRIDAY: We wanted to wait to GO PUBLIC until we had officially accepted the referral.
   

We are overjoyed. Please post comments on the blog [versus on Facebook, twitter or email]. I want to capture your responses to show our kiddos someday!! Nothin' but love!