12 Days of Christmas :: Hope

DAY 9 :: I am grateful for HOPE.

I've been crying a lot today in light of our news today about potentially not being able to travel in 4 days. I can't imagine not being on a plane in 4 days, holding our babies in a week. I can't imagine...

As Brian and I prayed together today and he held me as I cried - multiple times - we were reminded of our hope in God, not an Embassy date. As dear friends prayed for us tonight, God tenderly reminded me that we hope in a God who is never late. When I got home, Brian pointed us back toward Lamentations 3:19-30 [The Message]. I love the author's emotional authenticity and staunch dependence on God despite the circumstances. I want to be this kind of woman. We want to be this kind of couple...

^19-21I'll never forget the trouble, the utter lostness,
the taste of ashes, the poison I've swallowed.
I remember it all—oh, how well I remember—
the feeling of hitting the bottom.
But there's one other thing I remember,
and remembering, I keep a grip on hope:

^22-24God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
He's all I've got left.

^25-27God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits,
to the woman who diligently seeks.
It's a good thing to quietly hope,
quietly hope for help from God.
It's a good thing when you're young
to stick it out through the hard times.

^28-30When life is heavy and hard to take,
go off by yourself. Enter the silence.
Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions:
Wait for hope to appear.
Don't run from trouble. Take it full-face.
The "worst" is never the worst.

Brian got another tattoo last week, and this one is most personal to us, to our story.
Isaiah 40 has been a critical passage throughout our infertility and adoption journeys. We held on to the truth that when we wait on God that he'll give us new strength and we'll soar on wings like eagles. Brian's fresh tattoo is a permanent, visual reminder of the hope we've found in God [you can see the "h" from his "hope" tattoo, too].

If you are in need of hope tonight or are finding yourself waiting, do yourself a favor and download Vicki Yohe's song "In the Waiting". My friend Neah plopped earphones on my head tonight and rubbed my back as I SOBBED through the song. It'll pull you toward a God who works all things together for good.

Tonight, I'm grateful for Hope that does not disappoint. Not my will, but yours be done...

Embassy Date? URGENT PRAYER!

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST: We found out this morning that the U.S. Embassy is requiring more information [not previously required for Embassy appointments] for Judah and Addise. Our case manager said that it was simply additional photos required but another traveling family said additional documents were needed that were not needed beforehand. If that's the case, it's unknown how long it could be to go back and find additional documentation from our kids' birth places [several hours and 6-8 months ago!].

Our 28th Embassy date could fall through! PLEASE PRAY FOR MOUNTAINS TO BE MOVED AND MIRACLES TO HAPPEN - not just for our family but for the 5 other families that were planning on flying to Ethiopia this week.

I'm having a bit of meltdown. Brian and I just prayed together and as he was praying I felt like the Enemy was simply trying to steal some of God's glory in our story. Period. That's not ok. It's all God's. No matter what. But we want for him to get the greatest amount possible. And we really believed God's word and promises through family and friends about bringing them home in 2010.

We are desperately praying...

BACKSTORY:
As some of you may know, we received unofficial word 1 1/2 weeks ago that we had the 28th US Embassy date in Ethiopia. Last Monday we found out that the Embassy hadn't cleared us for travel, but were looking through our documents with a fine tooth comb assuring that everything was in place for the 28th. [Due to another change in policy by the Embassy that occurred on the SAME DAY as our unofficial word!] Our case manager seemed quite positive that we would eventually be cleared for travel, but maybe not until tomorrow (3 days before our flights!!). This morning our case manager called to let us know that the US Embassy wanted more pictures of Judah and Addise to confirm they are the right kids matching the documents. Supposedly those were submitted today Ethiopia-time.

If we do not get the 28th Embassy date, we will really be emotionally heartbroken. It will also be a pretty huge financial hit for us. Bottom Line: we want them home on the 31st!!! We really feel like God gave us some words of promise and hope – through many of YOU! - and just feel like we need to pray against any enemy interference, confusion, or issues.

12 Days of Christmas :: Advent

Since today marks 12 days until we leave to get Judah and Addise, I decided [at 11pm...that's just how I'm working these days] that I'm going to post something I'm grateful for every day. It will serve as a countdown to getting our babies and a summary to the past 22 months of our adoption process.

Day 1 :: I am grateful for Advent.

Advent means "coming" or "arrival". It also implies waiting for the arrival and coming of the Messiah. This year, I'm grateful that our time to become parents has arrived. Two years ago this week we were mourning the news of another failed IUI treatment. We wondered if we would ever have a child. Christmas was more about Advent, about waiting, than it was about Christmas celebrations. We anticipated a Christmas where we could simply celebrate and not wait, not long for a baby's arrival, and anticipate healing.

This is that Christmas. We are filled with joy and celebration. And it has been worth the wait. I am grateful for the waiting because it has changed the way I celebrate, the way I cry, the way I understand others, the way I work, the way I rest. I am grateful for Advent, especially when Christmas is harder to celebrate.