12 Days of Christmas :: Accessories and Scripture

12 Days of Christmas :: I'm grateful for the little things and God's Word.

This has been a really rough week. It has NOT been what I expected during these 12 days of Christmas. In a weak attempt to maintain the Christmas spirit I've attempted and received some comfort from a few things, so this week I'm grateful for...

• Girls night out with Angela and Cassidy
• Brian
• Glittery nail polish
• Continuous messages and texts from my family and caring friends [especially Erin who hounds me like an adoptive momma who knows]
• Wine
• Flowers
• Mama D's pasta
  
• Clean carpets and teeth
• A few more gifts that came in the mail for Judah and Addise
• 7 more pictures of our kids

I'm also grateful for Scripture. These verses/passages have been life to me as we grieve the death of a Christmas dream...

• Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life."
• Psalm 62:5, "Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him."
• Exodus 14:13-14, "But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm."
• Isaiah 40:31, "But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."
• Lamentations 3:22-24, "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease.
  Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning. I say to myself, “The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!”
• Psalm 61:2, "From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety."
• Psalm 121
  
• Psalm 77

Merry Christmas.

Embassy Update :: Christmas in the OC

As many of you know and have already commented, we didn't get clearance from the US Embassy to travel tomorrow. We are heartbroken, crushed, whatever word you want to use... Yesterday I was drinking orange juice from a "Nightmare Before Christmas" cup, and winced to Brian that this was our reality.

There really isn't any good explanation from the Embassy as to "why", which makes it harder to understand and accept. In numerous emails from our case manager, we were told a number of things:

• The Embassy is not ready for you.
• Every family in our travel group has to have all their new documents submitted before any family will be granted another Embassy date.
• This is affecting every adoption agency in Ethiopia, not just ours. Therefore, countless families Christmas dreams have been affected.
• This is unprecedented in Ethiopia, so we're not sure what's to come.
• Our agency has been in contact with the Department of State and Children's Affairs in DC this week, and they aren't providing firm or specific answers for any of our cases.
  

WHAT'S NEXT? Our case manager is requesting that the US Embassy in Addis Ababa reviews our case on Monday morning independently from the other families and confirms for us a January 12th Embassy date [the next date possibility]. She's hoping that the "all families in the travel group need all their documents before any family is issued a court date" is some misunderstanding. The Embassy has NEVER worked like that in the past. For now we wait. Again. [NOTE: Our agency's office is closed until January 3rd, but we may still hear word before then.]

HOW ARE WE? Ugh... Awful? Ok? Devastated? Angry? Confused? Hopeful? Trusting? Missing Judah and Addise? Concerned about what's next? Longing? YES to all the above.

Honestly, we're a bit shell shocked and emotionally exhausted. I've cried rivers this week. We're gonna go dark for a little while and regain some strength and perspective. Thank you so much for your prayers. We've heard some of you have been fasting for us. We've read innumerable texts and messages. We've totally felt carried by our community. For that, we are grateful.

We'll keep you posted as we find something out.

12 Days of Christmas :: Maturation

DAY 11 :: I am grateful for the gift of maturity.

Adopting Judah and Addise has changed my prayer life. And it's changed how I ask people to pray on our behalf. This morning I was reading Exodus 14 and once again God's truth intersected exactly where I needed it.

¹³ But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. ¹⁴ The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

As I read this chapter and cried, I started praying. When I was younger I would pray for things and make decisions to surrender because I thought [at least subconsciously] that if I prayed for the right things, in the right way, and gave up my will to his, then God would give me what I wanted. A+B=C, right? Nope - God cannot be manipulated like that. I've come to believe that as I pray, I am giving up my will to his and he also shapes it to conform to his will. Then, it is well with my soul. Believe me, I would swim to Ethiopia right now if I could [and I might have to with the insane amounts of rain we've had in SoCal!!!!]. But clearly what God's doing is much bigger than I know, and I've seen that clearly in retrospect in other areas of my life. Remember, he gives me what I need more than what I simply want.

EMBASSY UPDATE :: We are still waiting, but humanly speaking it doesn't look good. Essentially, the US Embassy still hasn't given us a green light to travel, and we are running out of time. We have until about 9am tomorrow morning AT THE LATEST to cancel our airline tickets. Our case managers have said that the Embassy wants for all 6 families cases to be resolved before they give any of us an Embassy date and the green light to travel. It doesn't make sense. Our case should be ready to go now. Our agency is petitioning on our behalf with the Department of State in DC. We are waiting for an update.

Please keep praying. I'm a mess, but am choosing to trust in this confusion. Your texts, messages, and prayers have carried our burden with us. Every message, question, and hug has caused me to cry, but it's needed. Thank you.

When I started this "12 Days of Christmas" series, I wasn't expecting this turn of events. It's been quite hard to write these, but it's also forced me to celebrate and be grateful when my heart is heavy and troubled.

One more pic to make you smile...what would you put as a caption to this picture?!?!