I Love YOU!

My mom can't get enough of videos and pics of our kids. And why should she? We've been trying to make a few videos for just for her, per her request, so the other day I thought I'd put Judah to the test with his first sentence.

Before you take a look, we've been working on saying "grandma" and teaching him how to say "I LOVE YOU" in sign language. He got a little gangsta with it...which makes me a proud mama!

In other news, Judah busted out a few new teeth and more are coming in! He's repeating most things we ask him to say these days including: oatmeal, what's up?, Addise, patience [guess he's been hearing that word a lot!], bath, pee-pee, veggie straws, ball, and home. He's also become really great at saying his own name, which he says excessively and with pride. His vocab is growing leaps and bounds. Hard to believe that only 3 months ago he didn't know 1 English word.

Judah is a mix of the patient, helpful older brother,

and the one who leads Addise astray.

Hopefully, I'll get some more videos of him soon with some other words and sounds he's learned. He's exceptionally proud of his knowledge, but gets a little silly once the iPhone is brought out for performing. He is a goof, and we are astounded at his progress this past month. Happy and grateful!

Oh I love my "little" Addise...

We were at the doctor again this week for another round of immunizations. I think that marked at least 12 doctor appointments since we brought them home less than 3 months ago. Geesh... that's a lot of co-pays. Our pediatrician always makes time to see our kiddos, ask update questions, and do a well-child physical. LOVE.

As a part of the exam, they weighed our kids. Judah weighed 26 lbs. He's gained 1 pound/month since we got home, and has grown from the 1% to the 10% percentile. YEAH buddy! Addise on the other hand...also weighs 26 lbs!!!!!! She's moved from the 50% in weight to the 95% percentile!!! Let's just say that we had a good laugh and our doctor affirmed their growth.

Here's a few pictures of our walking Addise. She's fully walking everywhere all the time. I think she thinks she's the same age as her brother [why wouldn't she? she's the same weight!] so she's constantly trying to keep up with him.

It's really hard to get a good picture of her because she moves so fast. Proof?

If Addise spends all summer in dresses, I'd be perfectly ok with that.

All ready to go to work with mommy. LOVE LOVE LOVE this little one!

Full Time

I'm starting back to work full time this week. It's hard to believe that 11 weeks have passed since we left to get Judah and Addise in Ethiopia.

I have to say, I have mixed feelings about being a full-time pastor and a full-time mom. I grew up with a stay-at-home mom. She was ever-present to my needs, always available, packed my lunch before school, was always home after school. My mom is present in my best childhood memories. In many ways, my mom's life revolved around her three offspring. Most of the women I knew growing up were stay-at-home moms. That was my normal. That was the picture I was presented of what a wife and mom did. Period. Several of my best friends today are stay-at-home moms.

Conflict. So you can understand my conflict that that will not be the picture my kids grow up with. I will most likely never be a full time stay-at-home mom. I don't think I'm wired that way. I also whole-heartedly believe that I'm called to this work of next generation and orphan advocacy. I love it. Beyond words. During my 10 weeks of maternity leave, I found myself longing for leadership challenges, meetings, lunch appointments, budget problem solving, event planning, and the like. Yet I also loved staying at home in my pjs and loving on my babies.

Tension. I will forever live in that tension of being a working mom. I've chosen to embrace that tension.

Choice. I'm grateful for the choices we have today as women to do whatever we want. My good friend and mentor, Kara Powell, has privately told me, "I believe you can have it all, but you can't have it all, all the time. Some days you'll be a great mom and a less-than-ideal employee, and other days the opposite will be true." I've found great comfort in that reality. I've already felt that on both sides of the coin. I'm grateful that I'm surrounded by a broad range of womens' working and parenting choices. I've learned what I want from each of them. It's deeply informed the kind of family and life Brian and I have agreed to to live.

Nancy Ortberg has also said something to the effect that "a child cannot find their dreams without seeing their mother live their dream." She's also more poignantly said what kids most need is an obedient mommy. It would be disobedient for me not to do what I do.

This past weekend I left my kids for the first time. For 30 hours. I spoke at an event in Dallas to about 500+ youth workers on what makes faith stick in kids beyond high school. As I traveled and spoke, I felt even more strongly about living in this tension of obediently being the best mom and best pastor I can be. I have to do both. And I believe God will enable me to do it...with lots of grace. Grace for me. Grace for our kids.

I think I'll need to post more on this subject matter. I'm getting LOTS of questions from women who love Jesus deeply and love their kids fully, but are caught in this tension. I'd love to share more of what I've learned, and as I move forward mistakes I'll undoubtedly make. Stay tuned...

So on the days when I can't be with my kids,
I'm grateful to receive pictures from Brian, such as this one,
which include me on the moments that I miss.