First Family Vacation - Advice?

Next week we are headed on our first family vacation!!! I know, I know. I just got back from maternity leave. But a combination of perfect storms came together for us to pull off this nearly free 10-day vacation to one of our favorite spots in the world - Fort Myers Beach, Florida. Sure, it's not Bora Bora, but this place holds a deeply meaningful place in our hearts. Someone in my family owns a GORGEOUS penthouse condo on the Beach. Nearly 10 years ago when Brian and I were poor and newlyweds, we went here for our wedding. We fell in love there together - with the condo and our marriage - and have been back multiple times since. The condo has become a place of refueling, rest, recalibration, reconnection, and just FUN. I know it's silly to go from the beach on one coast to the other, but trust me - this beach is different from the chilly, choppy SoCal ocean.

This time we are taking our children. It is our first family vacation and we are gitty. We've never been to the condo with our kids. We've never vacationed with them. We realize this will be a very different kind of vacation for many, many reasons, so we'd love some input from y'all about what to do, no do, expect, pack, travel, etc. I was prompted to ask for some help especially after reading a new friend's post regarding her vacation last week.

PLEASE help a girl out. :)

Holy [?] Week

Today is Easter. The day that changed everything. The day when LIFE became possible once again.

For the past several years, Lent and Holy Week have been predominantly contemplative, quiet, reflective, and holy days for me. These have been weeks where I've sensed God's presence in deeper ways and have noticeably grown closer to my Redeemer and Savior.

This year has been different. I fasted noise in my car [other than the noisiness of Judah and Addise attempting to out-jabber each other] because I couldn't figure out what else to give up. I felt like I've already given up so much: free time, sleep, personal space, my bed, going to the bathroom alone, sleeping in on Saturdays...And while every sacrifice has been unquestionably worth it, it's still stretched me. I told the Lord on Ash Wednesday, "I'm not sure what else I can give you." So, I [barely and with many exceptions] gave up music and phone calls while driving in hopes of hearing more from God. I'm not sure that I necessarily heard more from God, but the space definitely provided deeper breaths in the middle of our crazy days.

As I entered Holy Week last Sunday, I wondered how this year would be different.

I sat this week with a girlfriend who lost her baby at 22 weeks in utero. I wept as I listened to her grief and prayed with her. Yesterday, I celebrated another girlfriend's pregnancy at her baby shower while soberly remembering her previous miscarriage. Today, Easter Sunday, I wept at a grave site as one of my middle school students buried his mom. I sobbed holding my newly adopted daughter and watching this newly orphaned 14-year-old sing Green Day's "Time of Your Life" as his mother's funeral. Things were not as they should be. Things were exactly as they should be. The tension of Holy Week.

Years past, I used to attend 6am morning prayer at our church. I used to soak in more Scripture. This year the only thing that felt "holy" most days was when Judah and Addise both had clean diapers. Those were seemingly the only pure and set apart moments of my days!

Or maybe after they were freshly bathed, smelling all lovely as I rocked one of them to sleep.

Or maybe there was holy love when Judah gave me sweet kisses in the morning.

Or maybe there was a sacred moment when I chased my kids around the house to exhaust their boundless energy before dinner - giggling and squealing filled our home.

So, maybe I didn't start my days at 6am with a prayer meeting, but I'm learning new unforced rhythms of grace [Matthew 11, The Message]. And I'm finding God in the mundane and ordinary things.

In the words of the martyr Dietrich Bonhoeffer,

"I'm still discovering, right up to this moment, that it is only by living completely in this world that one learns to have faith. I mean living unreservedly in life's duties, problems, successes and failures, experiences and perplexities. In so doing, we throw ourselves completely into the arms of God."

I suppose I'm learning to throw myself into the arms of God as I change diapers, feed and bathe babies, and love them unconditionally.

Today was our first Easter as a family. And as Addise's name rightly reflects, there is new life all around, even in darkness. O Happy Day. He's alive!

Working Mom :: Our Own Worst Enemy

Myself. Other Women.
We are each others worst enemy when it comes to our choices - and even theology - of being a working mom.

MYSELF :: I am my worst critic when I...

• Compare myself to other moms and their choices. It's so easy to judge myself when I look at moms who stay at home and intentionally nurture their kids all day every day. It's also a lie I believe that their undivided attention is on their child's holistic development every day. I know that moms juggle a lot regardless of their "working" status. Comparison never works and always makes a villain and hero out of those being compared.
  
• Believe the lie that I can do it all and be the best at everything. It's impossible for me to be an amazing wife, mother, friend, pastor, student, daughter, sister...every day. The days when I place that expectation on myself are the days I feel the worst about myself. That's not the easy yoke Christ came to give me [Matthew 11]. Ultimately, I'm called to be a radical disciple of Jesus Christ!
  I've realized that I need to extend a LOT of grace to myself in this season of life. And I'm pretty passionate about surrounding myself with people who will do the same for me. I didn't realize how entirely demanding and [often] draining parenting 2 toddlers can be, even without the other responsibilities in my life. I've found the people that I'm most drawn to these days are also those who are foolishly graceful. I want to be near these people because they will point me toward redemption and growth.
  

OTHER WOMEN :: This sly enemy is most interesting to me. I find that women are brutally judgmental about each other's choices when it comes to raising children and working outside the home. We are quick to judge another's circumstances:

she is greedy [prestige, money, appreciation...].
she doesn't love her children as much as I love mine.
she doesn't have much to offer outside the home.
her husband is controlling.
she cares more about her career than her own children.
she misinterprets Scripture and a woman's role.
she's only thinking about the short-term [or long-term] affects of her decision.
she has to work because her husband doesn't make enough money.

It's jaw-dropping to her insinuations about a mother's choices. And I've heard all of these!

Over the years I've discovered that it's far more mature and wise to not judge another mom's choices about work. More often than not, I don't know the whole story that's led to their decision. And those times when I have judged - and I sure have! - then learned the whole story, repentance is in order.

I've learned that "to work or not to work" is a highly personal and emotional decision. And the women I respect who love Jesus fully make their decisions from a surrendered soul. They seek the voice of God for what their family needs.

My hope is the MORE women would pursue this all-too-important decision with the same prayerful and courageous spirit. I'm grateful for dear friends like Jeanne, Erin, Christina, Rebecca, Kara, Julie, Cassidy, Emily, and others who've gone before me. They've all chosen very different expressions of motherhood and work, but they've done so with thoughtfulness, prayer, and ultimately obediently.