Listen and Obey

These are the 2 things we are working most with Judah on these days: listening to and obeying mommy and daddy. Period. All things parenting are spiritual lessons, but I think this one might be at the core.

My working theory is this: if you cannot learn to listen and obey your parents when you are young, it makes it pretty difficult when you are older to listen to the voice of God and obey him.

Thus, we are working really hard with Judah on these two actions these days. We want him to listen and obey not so he becomes our little submissive robot, but so he can experience freedom and all he was created to be. So it is with God.

My friend, Rebecca, took this principle to another level. Listening and obeying are ultimately Judah's choices, but as his parents we have a huge responsibility to help Judah WANT to listen and obey by HOW we instruct him, correct him, and ultimately love him. He has a part, but our part is pretty huge. [Geez, parenting really is tough when you consider these these long-term effects!]

In order to become the best mom I can be, I'm practicing [not "trying"...see Dallas Willard's works] listening more to the voice of God and obeying him. I recognize more and more that God wants the best for me, he understands more than I do, and since he's my Father and Mother, he has my best interest at heart. My hope in parenting well is being parented by the author of Motherhood.

Newborns

A wise adoptive momma friend told me a couple years ago that the pain of infertility didn't end for her until her 2 little Ethiopian princesses came home. I didn't believer her, but it was TOTALLY true!

Even since our kids have come home, I've still experienced motherhood grief. The most recent sting was like a punch to the gut. A dear friend had her baby girl 7 weeks ago. The "Diaz 4" were among the first at the hospital to welcome sweet baby Harper into the world.

Several weeks later I saw Liz and Harper at our staff meeting. The scene was classic newborn: Harper got cranky. Liz instinctively scooped up her infant and snuggled her into her chest where her itty-bitty baby cuddled for the next 30 minutes.

As I watched this beautiful scene out of the corner of my eye, my heart and eyes unexpectedly welled. I instantly felt this intense loss of not being able to do that for Judah and Addise. I wondered if their biological mothers had nurtured them like that. I longed to have known them from those teensy-tiny days where they weighed less than 10 pounds. I felt the pang of not being able to bond with them from those first days of life. The first picture I have of Judah is 1 month after his 2nd birthday. I simply wished that I have been a part of their story from Day 1.

This is one of the odd things of adoption. Judah and Addise are 100% my children, and yet there is so much a part of their story that I do not know. It feels like I've birthed them, but there's a gap in knowing them. Adoption is the encapsulation of everything as it should be [redemption, love, reconciliation, healing] and everything as it wasn't meant to be [loss, poverty, death].

So while there is already tremendous healing through becoming J&A's momma, it's not yet complete. Such is the Kingdom on Earth...

Father's Day Shout Out

All of what I wanted to say to Brian about the wonder that is his fathering, I said to him privately [cuz that's how he rolls!]. But I will publicly say that it's miraculous how God so brilliantly chose Judah and Addise to be our children. They fit supernaturally into our hearts, personality, strengths, brokenness, and home.

I knew that Brian would be an amazing father someday, and he is. He exceeds my expectations and I'm speechless at how he's learning to parent by also being parented by our God. He's a remarkable man, and I could not be more in love with this man.

Happy Father's Day, baby!
On another note, I am equally grateful for my Daddy. He is the older, boy version of me. I learned how to change a tire, change my oil, swear, burp, and stand on my own two feet in a man's world [his fatherly goal raising his only daughter] from him. But I also learned obedience to Jesus, sense of humor despite circumstances, hard work, passion, commitment to family, and risk. It's because of having a great father [and mother!] that I could recognize the making of a good father in Brian 13+ years ago. Happy Father's Day, Pops. Love you.

Priceless picture of me with 3 generations of men from my family!