Asher's Shower

Six days after Asher was born, I had my previously scheduled baby shower. My friends who threw the shower tried to convince me all week that we should postpone it. "You've just had major surgery!" "You need to rest!" "Let's postpone until Asher comes home!" I stayed the course and convinced them I could do it. I'm so glad I did. It was good for my soul to be with women who love me and my family. The shower took the sting out of Asher being in the NICU instead of my arms. And let's be honest, we needed the gifts to bring home Asher!!
I've had two of the most AMAZING baby showers in the last 18 months. At my last baby shower, I had just left Judah and Addise in Ethiopia and was a blubbering idiot at my shower. Then, at this shower I left Asher in the NICU. Geez. No more baby showers for me. These were two very emotional and non-traditional baby showers for me and my friends.

May the pictures can share the story of this incredible afternoon with my friends...

Cutest cake you ever did see!

Everything had a personal touch. All the desserts were made by one of the girls on my team - a baker at heart!

Every guest made their own party favor - personalized bags with Asher's birth information. Every guest also signed a handmade guestbook, complete with their address (easy for thank you notes!). Finally, everyone wrote in a book with "mommy advice". These words were beyond general - they spoke into who I truly am and what I need to be a great mother. THANK YOU, RAI, for creating such meaningful, personalized items.

To say my friends are "generous" is just too flighty a word. Thankfully, they didn't make me open gifts at the shower. Afterward, I opened gifts for two days.

Maybe the best part of my shower: my daughter and my mom were there. My mom flew into town just a few hours before the shower. A dream come true to have her there.

She who walks with the wise grows wise (Proverbs). These are some amazing women in my life. Over the past 7+ years these women have spoken into my life, walked with me, and transformed me.

No caption can capture her beauty or personhood. Loved having my daughter with me at this shower. To say she was given too much sugar by all her aunties is an understatement.

Adorable clothes line of baby clothes. The preemie clothes look like doll clothes. The great attention to detail and thoughtful, meaningful interactions blew my mind!

Every guest spoke a prayer and word of blessing for Asher and me. The white beads are for Asher's birth month (diamonds) and the green beads for mine (peridot). They were all strung on to a necklace for me. Beyond amazing!

The icing on the cake: Carol (in above necklace picture) secretly talked with my mom who wrote me a two page letter of blessing and wisdom. Yes, I cried.

Most of the women who showered us with love. Massive love and thanks to Rai, Carol, Sookyung for hosting this lavish affair. Though I still look 9 months pregnant here, I had to post this picture of my beautiful community.

I left full and exhausted. What a day. It truly takes a village and this village is a keeper. Much love and thanks to my community for showering us with love.

If Mother's Day is Painful...

Three years ago today, I was gifted with the opportunity to share my story at our church. It was the first time I'd been given the platform to preach to our whole church and I was being tasked with sharing my most painful and intimate story of my life. Driving to church that morning I was nervous, desperately praying and the old hymn "This is my Story" came on the radio. I allowed myself a few tears that wouldn't destroy my makeup, reminding myself that my story was THE story God was writing in my life and it was worth bravely and courageously sharing. I did. I spoke 3 times that day, each day emboldening this unthinkable story to be shared with women and men who desperately needed to know about God as our Mother.

If today is painful, for you for any reason, know a few things:

1. This is not the end. 
2. God is writing a story in your life that is beyond comprehension and our role is to unabashedly surrender to it so we can get the most good to come from it. 
3. We hope in God, not an outcome. If we do, our hope will never fail us.

May God's Word in this message speak to you today like it continues to speak to me. Love and prayers for you who hurt today. I see your faces. I remember your names. I'm with you.


Mother's Day - May 10, 2009 from Newsong Church on Vimeo.
"God as Mother"
Speaker: April Diaz

Ridiculous Realities

In the past 3 weeks since our world was turned upside down, there have been a handful of of ridiculous thoughts that have played over and over again in my head...

First and foremost, we have three kids! When and how did this happen!?!?! Brian and I never imagined to be a family of five. God must be chuckling.

We've gone from zero to three kids in 15 months. This is the most ridiculous. In a "normal" family (whatever that is) it's perfect spacing to have a 3.5 year old, 2 year old, and a newborn. But we've fast tracked this baby. In one friend's words, "You are the most efficient family growing couple I've ever met." Thanks? I have two friends who've been faster family builders - going from 0-3 kids in 6 months and 9 months, but this is insane in my world. How God thought that we can handle this is saying something.

Our third child will be the racial minority in our family. This cracks me up. Though Asher shares our DNA and will likely look like us (vote currently is he looks a whole lot like me), he will be the minority child in our brood. Oddly, this makes me smile and amuses me at how God's built our family. Who knows if there will even be more color in our future?!?! :)

Each of our three kids coming home has involved a fair amount of pain and drama. Judah and Addise's painful journey home was expected and the reason I started this blog. I was not expecting pain or drama surrounding Asher's birth and homecoming. But arriving 7 weeks early after a week of tests, blood work, de-cellerated heart rates, umbilical cord wound around his neck twice, sitting breech, and hospitalization creates some drama. I was expecting to calmly bring our third child into this world and sweetly introduce you all to him. But his birth was met with desperate prayers, continuous updates, and now nearly 3 weeks in the NICU without a firm date when he'll come home. Geez, we really know how to be dramatic.

As I've been pumping milk for Asher in the wee hours of the morning, a couple Scriptures have re-centered me and reminded me of what God's up to in our lives...

"We can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps." Proverbs 16:9

 "Let me hear Your lovingkindness in the morning;
         For I trust in You;
         Teach me the way in which I should walk;
         For to You I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:8

Even in the midst of knowing my sweet boy won't be home for Mother's Day, I know deep in my soul that God writes the best story for my life.


Looking forward to seeing the story continue to be written...