Adios 2016: Blessings as New Year's Comes

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Do what you can, with what you have, where you are. 

That about sums up many of my thoughts for this past year. I've been very honest about my struggles and challenges with this year. But with every "hard" there are buckets of amazing, wonderful, and little lights. Life seems to be about holding the tensions of it all and remaining true to who you are and tenaciously contributing for the betterment of the world.

As I gleefully say ADIOS to 2016, I'm mindful of the goodness that this year also held. In no particular order, here are my Top 10 Blessings in 2016...

1. My Man. Life together is the sweetest, safest, and sassiest part of my life. Brian is the yin to my yang and so very good for me. Even when we fight and disagree, he's my safety net and challenger to move forward. Celebrating 15 years of marriage with him this year was the ultimate sweetness. He really is the best man I've ever known.
2. Our Babes. As they get older I find myself a better mom. Babies and toddlers are super cute but older kiddos are more my jam. Conversations that can include jokes and multisyllabic  words are more life-giving for me. Less naps and more energy makes for more fun as we get to play, discover, and explore a little more together. 
3. Glimmers of Neighborhood Diversity. We've struck friendships with neighbors who are Vietnamese, Indian, and Rwandan. Their culture, accents, and global perspectives have been water to our parched souls. Asher's closest buddy is Muadh and their home smells like a slice of curried heaven. Huy stopped over on Christmas with a gift, card, and a list of "decent" Asian restaurants in town. Our Rwandan neighbors have shared just a bit of African connection with our Ethiopians and their teenage daughter has offered to babysit. Heaven on earth. This past year has deepened my commitment and desire to build relationships with those who are different from me. These friends help me see God, the world, and myself so much better. 
4. Being a Volunteer in Youth Ministry. For nearly 20 years I was a paid leader in the church, but for the last year I've been a volunteer small group leader to a group of 8th grade girls at our church and it has been surprisingly freeing. Even on the Sunday afternoons when I'd rather take a nap on the couch, I come home from being with my girls energized and inspired. Volunteering has been a breath of fresh air for my soul.
5. Neighbors of Color. We've sparked friendships with a few neighbors with different accents, traditions, cultures, and foods and my heart has been crazy grateful. God knew that we needed our Vietnamese, Rwandan, and Indian neighbors so very much. 
6. The "No's". There were a lot of "no's" - or at least "not yet's" - this past year. And while every one stung or broke our hearts, we can see some of the WHY NOT. The "no's" are teaching us steadfastness when we want to run or fight. I'm re-learning the blessing of actively waiting and finding contentment even when my heart is restless.
7. doTERRA Essential Oils. This may sound crazy but as I've been digging into the healing and wholeness benefits of nature's medicine, I've been awed by the complexity of creation. Almost 6 years we were gifted with our first diffuser and set of oils and there's been no going back. This past I intensified my learning journey and we've been using a bunch of oils for health, mood, focus, energy, relaxation and anything else in between this past year. I'm ridiculously grateful for how they've improved our family's quality of life!!
8. The Best Friends. From the divine gift of a couple new local girlfriends who feel like lifelong friends to friends who've known me my entire adult life to friends who faithfully pray for our family to friends who are more like family, this year has been filled with trips and times to be together. Tears and belly laughter, secrets and hopes, vulnerable confessions and bold proclamations, working hard and playing hard together...these describe the sanctity of my friends. They are the best.
9. Gift of Travel. It's been an absolute gift to travel as much as I did this year ... and get paid for it! Being able to hop on a plane and see a different climate, culture, and community has fueled me like I can hardly explain. This year has affirmed a hunch that travel is actually a deeply held value in my bones. I have fallen more in love with my Father's world and being able to be a local in another city reminds me that "home" really is where meaningful relationships are. 
10. Hope. In the midst of all the hard, I hold on to hope in Jesus. What would we do without hope? Some days I collapse and am desperate for a do over. Hope reminds me that there are new mercies available to me. Hope pulls me toward what's not yet so I don't settle with the reality of today. Hope taps on my shoulder and begs me not to stay where I am today but to move to a better place tomorrow. Hope has challenged me this year not to give up.

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As 2016 comes to a close, what blessings can you capture and savor? Especially when life has sucker punched you, it's important to cultivate gratitude. I'd rather be a grateful person carrying a hard load than an ungrateful person with loads of unappreciated gifts. 

As 2017 knocks on our door this evening, make some decisions about who you want to become this year and what you'll contribute to the world around you. God knows, we could all use kinder, more generous, wildly courageous, deeper loving, freely themselves, and more peaceful people in our world. Let's make 2017 that kind of year.

May it begin with me. Happy New Year!!

2016 Diaz Year in Review

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Celebrating our 15th anniversary | My favorite superheroes at Halloween | Judah's 8th Birthday | Addise in my parent's backyard | Asher on a typical Tuesday morning

Highlights On The Surface

GO CUBS GO. Perhaps the biggest news is that the Cubs won the World Series and our house was lit with joy and relief!!! We sang "Go Cubs Go" like broken record because, HELLO, 108 years!! :)

Celebrating our 15th anniversary in the city where we started our marriage. (August)

BRIAN. 

The day after his 37th birthday, Brian made one of the most courageous decisions I've ever seen and he quit the job that moved us to Granger but was killing his soul and our family. I whole-heartedly blessed that decision and we've been trying to find our way ever since. He swooped back into the stay-at-home parent role and found peace. Truthfully, he's the much better SAHP and I'm grateful for the partnership this brings to our parenting.

Traveling became a lifeline for him as he surprised a dear friend for his 40th birthday in Oregon, made his 8th (?) annual pilgrimage to Comicon in San Diego with old friends, and took several short trips to see friends in Chicago and family nearby.

Brian also discovered a gift in a green thumb this year. Having more time and the need to do creative, meaningful, and restorative work, Brian spent hundreds of hours landscaping our yard. At the end of the season he'd pulled at least 7 bushes, planted 25 trees, mulched over two dozen new beds with 15+ yards of mulch, and planted over 100 plants and flowers on our half acre lot. My man worked so very hard (with ample help from our fam) and has brought such beauty to our property.

The travel highlight of 2016 was our trip to Shanghai, China... without the kiddos! We ate, laughed, explored, and served together with new kindred spirits. We haven't traveled internationally sans kids since first meeting Judah and Addise on our first trip to Ethiopia. Thus, this trip was water to our parched souls after such a long travel drought and Brian having just quite his job. The deep, diverse culture, the food (dumplings forever and ever, amen!), connecting with instant friends from over 20 different countries, exploring a world-class city together, and 8 days of uninterrupted conversations was truly remarkable. I think we'll look back on this trip as a pivotal time in our lives and marriage, reminding us of values, commitments, and how we want to live our lives.

Exploring the Chinese countryside together. (March)

Who doesn't celebrate their 15th anniversary with a 10k? (August 5)

ME. 

Our home has become a sanctuary this year in the midst of feeling like a stranger in this land. We made lots of cosmetic updates and improvements inside to make our house feel more like us. I'm grateful for our space in this season. Work has continued to be incredibly meaningful and satisfying. This year I spoke to thousands of folks in a dozen states and China, trained over 200 leaders nationally, 1-on-1 coached about 50 leaders, and was honored to preach at our local church's weekend services and student ministries.  I traveled enough to get another bump in airline status and hotel rewards, which makes up for some travel woes and fatigue. I published a chapter in another book that I'm incredibly proud to be among the list of contributors. After 2+ years of being an independent contractor, I finally feel like I'm finding my groove and voice. It feels invigorating and centering altogether.

One of the most unexpected gifts has been a couple local friends who've been a complete grace in my life. The unexpected simpatico between the three of us has been an oasis in the desert. 

Motherhood continues to be the most difficult (yet rewarding) thing I do. Parenting pushes on all my "8 with a 7 wing"  issues (my Enneagram...you gotta get into this tool). This move has proved wearing on me and our kids in ways I'm still discovering, which achingly affects my parenting.

Another tooth bites the dust! 

JUDAH ABEBAYEHU (turned 8 in July). 

Our firstborn has made so many strides this year academically and I couldn't be prouder! He moved from 1st grade with loads of additional support into 2nd grade without those needs!! He's a fervent reader, avid knock-knock joke teller, compassionate big brother, peacemaker, introvert, and overall tender spirit. He's only lost 4 teeth but he's saving his money like a champ. Sports don't seem to be his thing, but we're holding out hope that those Ethiopian running skills have made their way into his DNA. :) 

His heart is pulled toward those on the outside, because he often finds himself in that same spot. Our most tender conversations are often about his adoption and birth country and feeling like an outsider here. We've struggled with Judah being occassionally bullied on the bus and playground at school because of his race in a white dominant culture. Navigating this painful terrain with Judah has been deeply emotional and challenging for us as parents as we prayerfully consider what kind of life do we want to create for our kids and how do all things grow our character and compassion toward "misfits". 

Judah has three girlfriends - one in CA, one on the bus, and one in his class. He's keeping them in separate spaces. I can't even.

She turns six!!!

ADDISE ASTER TARIKE (turned 6 in February).

Our girl is all sugar and spice!!! Addise is a teenager trapped in a 6 year old's body. She has the emotional bandwidth, speed, and intensity of about 5 people in 1 body. I'm exhausted at the end of the day. :) My favorite girl in the whole wide world loves her curls au natural, playing outside with neighborhood kids, snuggling/ antagonizing her puppy (more about that below) and is often found in cahoots with her youngest brother (for better AND worse). She learned to ride a bike this year and she can often be found riding back and forth down our cul-de-sac. Our first grader is a fashionista and has quite the eye for artistic things. Addise's giggle is pure and contagious. She's showing herself to be incredibly smart in school. She still adores the white satin/fluffy blanket and purple bear we gave her in Ethiopia...there's something entirely endearing about her affection for her first earthly possessions.

I've said before that she's my mini-me and she's totally daddy's girl. This remains to be true in 2016. :) I learn more from her than most anyone in the world. She teaches me about grace, forgiveness, second (thousandth) chances, perseverance, and unconditional love.

What those who've adopted often don't talk about is how parenting kids from hard places doesn't necessarily get easier after a few years. This has proven true for our girl. Deep historical wounds have emerged within this move and have pressed on us at all sides. Racial challenges have tapped into her triggers and we have conversations about race and racism multiple times every week.

Addise also has a boyfriend name Panayoti, whom Brian refuses to acknowledge.

This one loves preschool!!!

ASHER ZACARIAS (turned 4 in April). 

Asher continues to live into meaning of his name - HAPPY + BLESSED. One of my favorite things about Asher is how he's drawn to "the other". His best friends in school are friends with special abilities and racial minorities. His heart naturally bends toward those not like himself. He's makes friends wherever he goes and smiles and laughs with his whole. His strong will was given in double portion from his parents. And 4 year old temper tantrums are consistent at 12:30pm (imminent nap time). Ai ai ai.

Preschool is a gift from the Most High God. The social environment mixed with simple academic stimulus has been the perfect combo for Asher. I'm equally lamenting and celebrating my baby going to Kindergarten this coming fall.

This Spring Asher asked Jesus in his heart while driving with Daddy. Brian was especially excited to pray this meaningful prayer with Asher because his older siblings prayed with someone else. Brian got the honors with our baby. <3

They're pretty much besties.

MILA (8 months old).

Oh ya! Our family expanded this year as we adopted another black girl with curls. :) Mila is a sweet golden-doodle who instantly captured our hearts (and bank account!). We brought her home rather spontaneously and she's fit right into our crazy family. She's exploded from 10 to 40+ pounds in the past 6 months. She's brought a level of calm and connection one of our kiddos' in particular has needed. Mila was born on April Fool's Day, so I guess joke's on us.

She's currently obsessed with snow (clearly she's not a Diaz yet) and chasing her tail.

I'm insistent that she's not our 4th child. Parenting 3 kids is hard enough for us, which probably explains her subpar training despite a 6-week puppy class.

Mila is our pet. Period. And we love her.

Just Below The Surface

This year was laced with disappointment and loss. Yes, there were little lights and joys every day found in a million unexpected places. But it felt like a dark cloud hovered over our heads and hearts all year long. 

It felt like every month there was another punch to the gut, a hope that was deferred, a dream that was dashed, a promise that was unfulfilled. Between Brian quitting a job, me interviewing for a couple jobs I was not offered, family challenges and heartache, an insane election cycle, and overall moving hangover, stress was high and tears were many. We're in the thick if dealing with inconsistencies between what is already and not yet, struggling to discern how to move forward and not be victims stuck in circumstances. 

And yet, God is with us. Emmanuel. Advent here and now.

We have experienced his presence in our pain, his comfort in our chaos, and his hope in the midst of heartache. In our 15 years of marriage, we are no strangers to hard things (i.e. infertility, international adoption, leaving a church we adored for a decade). We know that God doesn't waste pain, he's constantly working all things together for good, and that his best for us is beyond what we can see in the moment. Brian and I have had many conversations this year about how we will lean into the necessary hard things but run like hell away from the unnecessary hard things. We've declared again that we will be obedient to whatever God asks of us. We've re-committed ourselves to create the life we want to live instead of being enslaved to past decisions. We're discovering the difference between aspired values and expressed values that we want to define our lives.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!!
May you find 2017 filled with hope and joy no matter our circumstances.