Expecting the Unexpected: a book review

Last Fall I was asked by my buddy, Amy Kim, to review her upcoming book, Expecting the Unexpected: An Honest Look at Miscarriage, Postpartum Depression & Motherhood. I eagerly agreed. I read through the manuscript in one sitting - on a flight and in an airport. I gobbled up her words through stifled chuckles on the plane and wiped away tears in an airport terminal.

For years Amy and I shared parallel journeys. I struggled through the darkness of infertility and Amy braved the depths of a miscarriage and postpartum depression.

As ambitious career women and adoring wives I don't think we both anticipated the journey toward or into motherhood being so difficult. So many of the public stories told are of positive pregnancy tests, growing baby bumps, and sweet smelling babies who breast-feed without an issue.

That wasn't either of our experience. Over the years I watched Amy's journey in real life and online as she bravely, publicly, and appropriately shared her stories at the right times. 

Amy was authentic and courageous in her own pain. And she was committed to getting through it, not stuck in it. I remember going to a book reading and signing of Cold Tangerines, written my old friend, Shauna Niequist. That was over 4 years ago. Amy was in the middle of a searing loss and I was smack dab in the center of a seemingly never-ending adoption process. We'd both read Shauna's book and it spoke deeply to us both. We needed that night together. 

Fast forward all these years later. We have 5 kids between our two families and it looks so "happily ever after". But sometimes the end of the story isn't as good as the middle part. The middle part is the part that breaks us down, strengthens us, transforms us, and shapes us into the people (not just mothers) we need to be. That's what Amy and my journey into motherhood did - and is DOING - for both of us.

My endorsement of "Expecting the Unexpected" from the back of Amy's book.

I know this book will be a gift to the women who's journey into motherhood isn't all fairytales and roses. I know you'll enjoy it like I did! 

Review of Fuller Youth Institute's Latest Book

I was invited to review Fuller Youth Institute's newest book for parents called, The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family: Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids. Here's what I think...

First of all, a disclaimer. I truly love everything FYI shares with the world. Their work is some of the best in the youth ministry world, for youth workers, parents, and students. Additionally, I've been on FYI's Advisory Council forever and have been very involved in the Sticky Faith movement since the beginning (ex: Kara's kind enough to include me in the acknowledgments). Currently, I'm a Sticky Faith coach for their cohorts and a certified trainer for Sticky Faith.

Second, my involvement and review are as a result of their work, not the other way around.

Finally, my reflections of their latest release...

This book is so easy to read. If you're new to the Sticky Faith research, this book will catch up in no time. If you've read everything they've published, this will give you new handles to exercise the research (Appendices 1 + 2).

This book is for more than parents of teenagers. As a parent to little ones (ages 6, 4, and 2) this book gives me inspiration, examples, and assessments to use with my kiddos. I love how it spans the years of parenting combining theology, theory, and the real world.

This book is covered in grace. It could be easy to read 100+ ideas and feel like you're the worst parent in the world. Sticky Faith is not about the "Gospel of Sin Management" - a reduction of the gospel to a checklist of do’s and don’ts (page 44) - but about undeserved favor. The principles and ideas in this book move parents toward grace and yet-another chance instead of judgment. The practical ideas are stories from parents like me, guiding me toward a better future with my kids. I found my head being lifted and heart expanded as I read stories of other parents' success and failure who want their kids to radically follow Jesus just like I do.

"Mom, Dad, Stepmom, Stepdad, Grandma, or Grandpa, please know this: Jesus is bigger than your mistakes too." (page 43)

This is a book about action over ideas. Ideas are great but they don't mean anything unless you put them into practice. These ideas are tested and true. They are field-experienced in families similar to mine and yours. This book compellingly invites us to evaluate and determine what we will do with what we read. It beckons us to DO SOMETHING with what we know, for the sake of our children and future. The questions, quick assessments, and ideas provide us with space to make familial application.

This book is about my faith ... not just my kids. It's easier to point a finger at what's not working at my kid. But it's far more honest and authentic to view my kids through a mirror. This books reminds us as parents that our faith will deeply impact the depth and health of our kids' faith.

The most important social influence in shaping young people’s religious lives is the religious life modeled and taught to them by their parents. —Christian Smith and Melissa Lundquist Denton (Soul Searching, 56)

One of my barometers for enhancing the quality of my life (as defined by John 10:10) is: Does it make me want to love Jesus more? This resource and my friends at FYI do. Without a doubt.

Perhaps what I loved most about this Guide is that it's not a copy/paste approach to parenting. It's literally 100+ ideas that can be contextualized for the uniquenesses of our family. I can read the research and stories of great examples of building Sticky Faith in our kids, assess our strengths and weaknesses, and come up with a plan for action that will work for us (chapter 13!).

I hope this resource will make it onto your "must have" school supply list this year. I have full confidence your family will be better for it. May this year be the best yet in building Sticky Faith in our kids's lives.

Moving to aprildiaz.com

Within the next couple weeks the first blog I birthed into this world will grow up and move to

aprildiaz.com

I've been hoping to launch this website for well over 18 months and with the release of my first book, Redefining the Role of the Youth Worker, due out October 1st, I decided now was the time to make the move. (Did I mention it's my first book?!?!...horray!!!)

The launch of the website will most definitely still include blogging our parenting journey. But it will expand to include more of "who I am" and "what I do".

I'll have more of a platform to share "who I am" with the other areas I'm passionate about, like

• the church
• leadership
• women 
• teenagers
• in addition to my HUGE passion for adoption and orphan care. 

I love these people and the interplay between these worlds, especially as it relates to leaders!!

I hope aprildiaz.com will also provide opportunities to offer "what I do" with the world. Specifically, I know this next season of life I must increasingly be about

• leadership development
• coaching/consulting 
• writing 
• speaking

My website will provide a place for those things to happen, particularly with people and organizations God's aligning for partnership.

When I'm at my best I am fostering forums for conversation and action. I certainly have a voice in those areas above, but I deeply desire to build a collective voice into those communities of people.

Bookmark your favorite internet browser and come on over to aprildiaz.com. I'm so VERY excited about this next season of life and ministry.

Thank you for journeying with me here. When I started this blog it was merely to share with family and close friends our adoption of Baby Ethiopia. Four years and three kids later, I am forever changed. Plan A Ethiopia has been visited nearly 200,000 times and has held my heart in 368 posts. It holds true that God will do "immeasurably more than I can ask or imagine".

I hope our life continues to be an "only God" kind of story. It's the only one worth living.

With Love and Gratitude.
april