Mondays and Fridays

Mondays have started with loads of hope for the past 6 months or so. It starts with anticipation. Wonder. Hope. Excitement. A belief that I can make it another week. And a whole lot of surrender on a good week. Will we get our referral this week? Maybe this will be THE week!

In the past few months [particularly since we found our we were #1 for a referral...May 17th to be exact], that anticipation has heightened. I've found myself keeping my phone closer and talking in more detail with Brian about where we'll both be throughout the day. Brian and I have had some "strategic planning" conversations about what we'll do when we get the call - how we'll handle getting home as quickly as possible without letting anyone know what's going on and how/when we'll start letting people know [I've literally written this out...I'm SUCH my mother's daughter!!!]. I've found myself curious as to whether I'll want to make sure I have showered before we check the email with their picture [this is a viable question in my life] - to ensure a pretty photo op - or I'll just say "forget it!". While some people dread Mondays, I crave them. Mondays begin with those those questions and near gittiness.

Fridays conclude with another announcement to God that I trust him, that I wait for him. A proclamation that his timing is perfect. A re-commitment to surrender to his plan. A prayer for strength for today, hope for tomorrow. Sometimes Fridays also end with crying, frustration, and anger. Most weeks Fridays end with wine.

Next Friday [20th] will be 10 months that we've been on the wait list. One of these weeks, Friday won't come in the same way. Clearly, I look forward to that day!