Half Year (ALREADY?!)

I believe the cliches - I CANNOT BELIEVE ASHER'S ALREADY 6 MONTHS OLD! This is going by too fast. Way. Too. Fast. We didn't get these early months with our first two (wail and scream and cry) and we don't plan on them again, so we are truly enjoying - savoring! - everything about his infancy.

What started almost exactly 1 year ago as a shocking and terrifying positive pregnancy test has turned into our 3rd greatest blessing. Asher is perfection. Pure joy. The best baby. The most wonderful addition to our family.

We took naming our son seriously. Just a few weeks before his miraculous arrival, we landed on his name: Asher means "happy" and "blessing" and Zacarias means "God remembered". Every day I think of the weight of his name and how he's already living into it. He is truly the happiest baby (barring the most adorable pouty face he makes when he's really expressing his disappointment with life). He's slept through the night for a couple months (more or less) and he doesn't even wake up crying in hunger. He wakes up with a smile. He finds excuses to smile and giggle profusely. He flirts with all the girls - batting his long eye lashes and flashing a gummy smile. He's content with the world, loves his swing, eat/sleeps/poops like a champ. Though a preemie, he's quickly made up time in every area. Perhaps he's so happy because he gets lathered in kisses everyday by his siblings, momma, and daddy. He's so very well loved.

Asher's our little Benjamin Button look-alike blessing. We cannot imagine life without him, although a year ago we couldn't imagine life with another child. It's humbling to know God remembered our prayers from y-e-a-r-s ago and gave us this miracle. We are soaking in every moment of these early days with Asher.

Our little Harry Potter wrapped up, all clean.

Bald boys at the happiest place on Earth.

Knawing on fingers has become a way of life. So has drool.

Let's call this his Zoolander face.

Stop it. They don't make 'em cuter.

Trying rice cereal for the first time. It didn't go so well.

Spitting. Kicking. Smiling. It's a full time job.

Checking out his new "friend".

Asher Zacarias, we love you like crazy. You have blessed our life immeasurably and filled our family with joy.

Of Your Own

As an adoptive momma and (now) a bio momma, there are a handful of thoughtless, "harmless" comments that prick me from time to time. The one that stings that most is "of your own".

In the minds of some, there is a slight difference between your biological child and your adoptive child. Surely, they would never say that it's different, but it leaks out, unassumingly. Over the past year, since pregnancy and Asher's birth, someone will say, "You have one of your own and two adopted?" They don't mean any harm. They don't even know what they're saying is hurtful - nay offensive! - but it's another wound my Judah and Addise have to bear.

"Of your own". They mean "biological", but it's received as they are not your own. They are other. They are not as much mine as the child that carries my DNA. That simple phrase is heard like the child I carried in my womb is somehow more mine than the children I carried in my heart. Those three words passively communicate that they are a little outside of our family.

I swear, every time those words are spoken I force a smile and constrain my hand from backslapping their oblivious face. I will tears away from my eyes. I demand graciousness out of my mouth, not rebuke and correction. I hate those words for Asher's sake. I hate them for Judah and Addise's sake. The love I have for my children is the same (I blogged about that here).

Maybe I should let my hand fly and words burst out for my three kids' sake - and all the adopted kids of the world. But I restrain partially because of my people pleasing addiction, partially because I would probably emote nonsensical words, and partially because I know they don't mean harm by it.

But please, please, if you know an adoptive family, please never use those words with them. And if you have accidentally, go back and apologize to that beautiful family. Because the Judah and Addise's of this world need to feel more "of my own" than any other. They need to feel woven into the fabric of a family, not hanging off like a loose button. Kids who've experienced loss, abandonment, rejection, and numerous transitions deserve to feel grafted to a mommy (and daddy) who love them like they are bones of my bones and flesh of my flesh. Their families need to be safe places of healing, not places where their wounds fester and grow.

My own children need it. Their healing requires it.

Referralversary!!!

It started as a morning like any other morning. But not at all. Brian was in Fort Wayne visiting our families for a week. I had just finished a very sweaty P90X workout and was finding my breath again when my iPhone rang. "Christian World Adoption" was on the caller ID. I lost my breath again and answered the phone with hands shaking.

Two years ago today I received a phone call that changed our lives.

"Hello?"

"April, I have your referral. A 2 year old boy and 6 month old girl. Would you like to hear more about them?" Of course, YES! Our case manager patiently and thoroughly gave me all the details and next steps while I stifled back tears and attempted to calm my racing heart. 

In my original post 2 years ago, I wrote these words:

"I hung up the phone and LITERALLY started wailing on my knees in what will be the kiddo's bedroom [currently our workout room]. Friends, it was a few steps beyond ugly crying. I was out of control - almost hyperventilating. Dripping sweat. Tears flying out of my eyes nearly horizontally. Mouth contorting between crying and laughing. But I knew I had to call Brian immediately because the emails were being sent to both our accounts."

 And so our journey into an expanded family began.

Then...Those huge eyes captivated me...

Now...2 years after the THE CALL!

Then...When I first laid eyes on you!

Now...Our 2 1/2 year old sweet girl

If you want to take a stroll down memory lane with us, you can read the original three posts about them here: The Call, Lil A and Baby T, and my favorite post - Referral Day.

Who would've guessed that 2 years later we'd have a 3 1/2 month old son, too!?!?! God's funny like that. Celebrating today!!!